In the mind of Edge:
"I've been thinking long and hard about some things. These past couple weeks hasn't been going my way at all. There's been this uneven feeling that I can't seem to shake off right now.
First off, I'm glad I got back in the ring with Batista. I needed to get that rust off me and what better opponent to help you get out of a rust than Batista.
I know I'm better than Batista. I'll always be better than him. He thinks because he's all evil and sour that he's going to dominate more than ever? He has another thing coming. He better not forget who carried Smackdown on my back as the top heel for the last few years?
In all honesty, I don't have time for Batista right now. I believe me and him will resolve our issues later this summer.
My psychotic, now calmed down mind has two other foes on my mind. The Elimination Chamber is this Sunday. Actually, it's only 18 hours away.
These two Elimination Chambers will show how the landscape of our company's Super Bowl will turn out this April.
I'm honestly not even worrying about how the Raw Elimination Chamber is turning out. I'll kick Sheamus a** anyday. In some funny irony feeling, I'm kind of pulling for Super Cena to take this match. Wow! I really am changing.
I'm more focus on this Smackdown Chamber match. Morrison ankle is too hurt to even compete. I won't be surprised if Shawn Michaels gives Morrison Sweet Chin Music and adds himself to the match. THAT WOULD ACTUALLY RULE!
I'm texting him now: Enter the Chamber match Shawn. Take Morrison's head off and win the Chamber match. I've always wanted you one on one at Mania anyway. We would steal the show. *End of text to Shawn*
R-Truth doesn't have a shot either. He's tough but a codebreaker would take him out quickly. Mysterio is always a tough one. But Mr. CM Punk took out all three of these guys on Smackdown. So those three are ruled out.
CM Punk thinks I have forgotten about him too. I still owe him an a** whipping for stealing my thunder and cashing in his briefcase on me and giving me that damn GTS and putting me to sleep and becoming World Champion. I haven't forgotten about you CM Punkass. Haha...I find it really funny how Punk did it to Jeff though. I still laugh about till this day.
Punk won't win the match though. He's relying too much on his society to have his back and he won't have them. I wouldn't be surprise if Gallows finds his way into the match.
I don't know about anyone else in the locker room, but I have a thing for that Serena b**ch. I will bang her a** out. She must not know how I get down.
Don't forget whose girl I took from Jeff's brother? He doesn't deserve his name to be mention out of my mouth. Especially, that dumb ex girl of his.
So now it comes down to Jericho and the Undertaker. Do I really care who wins between these two? HOLD UP! It just struck me. This is the uneven feeling I have right now.
Why should I fight Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania even though I been wanting to put my foot up Jericho's a** for months now and I finally have a chance to do it at the grandest stage of all. WRESTLEMANIA!
Then, I think about it like this. Why go after Jericho if Undertaker is still the champion after the Elimination Chamber. So I I must believe Jericho is going to take this match. I truly believe he can win this match. He did beat the Deadman a few weeks back.
So what if he does? What if Jericho wins the Elimination Chamber? Then, I would definitely want to kick his Canadian a** at Mania. Let's get it on Y2Jackass! But wait a minute. What about that damn Deadman?
Does he really think I'm going to let him just keep giving me boots and chokeslams when I'm least suspecting it, and allow him to get away with it?
I've always hated the Undertaker. And I believe I will hate the Undertaker until he dies for good. Too bad he's already friggin dead. UGHHHHHH!!! *Edge grabbing his hair*
He's been a thorn to my side and I would want nothing else but to go into Mania and capturing the World Title from him.
More importantly, I would be ending the greatest streak in sports. Well, this streak and Brett Favre's consecutive games play streak. I believe Deadman's streak is better. What can I say? I'm biase towards my profession.
I just can't stand how the Undertaker thinks he can run this show and do whatever he wants. Just chokeslams everyone anytime he feels like it. He's the only guy that gets to double chokeslam wrestlers, sneak attack, and give wrestlers his tombstone to all the fan favorites when they at least expect it and still gets cheered. This is bull****.
Someone needs to stick it to the Deadman's face and I'm ready to finally take his streak and lay it to rest in peace. *Edge drooling right now*
In all honesty, I would call up my brother and kick both Undertaker and Jericho's butts at Wrestlemania. He hates Jericho just as much as I do. And I know he misses giving Taker those conchairtos a decade ago. I want to do it again.
Texting Christian: Hey lil bro, I know we don't talk much. Thanks for having my back during my surgery. Now please come to Smackdown so we can take these suckers out. You know the two I'm talking about. One more thing, nine world title reigns since you left. How you like those apples? *text sent to Christian*
Undertaker interferes in my match as I was about to beat Batista and he chokeslams me. Bitter a** upset he lost to Jericho. Jericho also gave me the codebreaker right after.
You want to know something? I'm starting to come to the point that I don't care who wins the Chamber match.
If Taker wins, fine, I'll kick his deadass all over Mania. If Jericho wins, I'll smack him like he was somebody's b**ch. Hell! I'll even take Punk on and put all four of you guys in a fatal four way and show you all why I'm the best thing in Smackdown history.
Straight Edge Society has theirs coming to them soon. Right now, I can't decide if I want to fight Jericho or Undertaker. Sadly, I disregarded the other three in the match. They're not ready to main event Mania anyway.
It comes down to these two. Chris Jericho or The Undertaker. I can't take it anymore! Bring them both on. I don't give a damn who wins the Chamber match. As long as it's one of these two. I'll grant one of the other one an entry and make this a triple threat match.
I need to beat them both of these guys but I also need to maintain focus on the bigger task at hand. The World Heavyweight Championship. That's all I have on my mind.
I'm going to win the title the right way this time for once in my life. Just don't think for a second I won't resort to my ultimate opportunist ways. And please don't think I really care about how the WWE Universe feels. They can boo me all they want. I made it to the top on my own and I'm all I have to depend on.
Whatever happens from Elimination Chamber to Wrestlemania, all I can say to myself is that the monster in me is really starting to awake. Batista rubbed him the wrong way the other night but the monster in me remained calm.
I can't say the same thing will apply for Chris Jericho or The Undertaker. That monster is ready to explode and tear down the WWE.
Whatever it takes, I'm going to take both of them on at Wrestlemania. That way I get two thorns off my side in one match. Shutting Jericho up and ending the deadman's streak. Yes!
*Rubbing his hands together contemplating*
Now someone tell me why is the deadman's profile on the front of this article. That's that bull****. I'M THE RATED-R SUPERSTAR!
He's only the World Heavyweight Champion. I guess that's what really matters in sports and in life. Whether you're the champion or not. Nobody remembers the loser. They only care about the present and the present is the champion.
I must now become the present. Because I am a gift. A gift to the WWE. Cherish a superstar like me while I'm hear. The king of the TLC matches will always reign and there will NEVER be anyone as opportunistic and dynamic as me. EDGE!
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