Our long national curling nightmare is almost over

Top o’ the morning, poopers! Hope you’re having a better Friday than the U.S. Olympic curling teams, who are staring down the barrel of a combined 0-7 record in Vancouver. The bad news? Arch-curling-nemesis Canada remains unbeaten in both the men’s and women’s draws. The good news? It’s curling, for crissakes.

“It hurts right now,” U.S. lead John Benton told the Associated Press. “We’re definitely on the way, way outside. Something magical would have to happen for us to make the medal round.”

Russian curler Lyudmila Privivkova

For what it’s worth, John, we here at Sportspoop produce something magical all the time … our super-pooptastic linkapalooza! On with today’s potpourri, sponsored by saucy Russian cheese wheel roller Lyudmila Privivkova:

• We’d like to take this opportunity to thank The Big Lead for meticulously updating us on the Tiger Woods news conference, because we have much better things to do (The Big Lead)
• … And by “better things to do”, we mean post links to Lindsey Vonn’s full SI photo shoot (The Beer Goggler)
• … And post links to photos of Christina Hendricks’ cleavage New York fashion show" target="_blank">(Pick Me Up News)
• … And post links to odd galleries of Israeli cheerleaders (Unathletic)
• Lovely day for a naked swim in California, if you’re a former University of Michigan basketball player accused of robbery (You Been Blinded)
• At least South Koreans aren’t bitter about Salt Lake City or anything (Josh Q. Public)
• ESPN dials down Hannah Storm’s cougarlicious boots; cheap suits and bad haircuts still OK for male anchors (Deadspin)
• Phil Jackson, Doc Rivers whine whiningly about Antawn Jamison trade (ESPN)
• Busted Coverage’s saucy curling photo is way, way, way more saucy than our saucy curling photo (Busted Coverage)
• As if figure skating could get any more uncomfortable to watch … (Wall Street Journal)
• And finally, 12 “journalists” who absolutely, unequivocally were not welcomed by Elin to attend Tiger’s presser (In Game Now)