Alright folks, since the Toronto Maple Leafs signed free agent defenseman Jeff Finger, everyone including myself has came up with all sorts of funny and amazing puns.
Immature? Maybe! But Funny? YES!
However, we can’t help ourselves. It’s like an age joke with John McCain, or a dumb blond joke with Paris Hilton. It just has to come out!
So folks, this is your chance to let it all out. Let’s get it all out of our system.
I want you all to come up with the funniest “Jeff Finger” puns or quotes you can. This is your chance to sink to the lowest level possible. No shame here at all. Besides, better we do it now, so we enjoy the game when the season starts.
Now of course, I have come up with some doozies myself. Here they are!
“Finger penetrates the open zone at lightning speed”
“Finger gets him hard from behind!”
“He just got stomped by Finger.”
“Fletcher may have overpaid, but he got some Finger!”
“Finger once played with Foote.”
“Finger nails everything in sight!”
“He just got given the Finger!”
“Finger has scored short-handed”
“Finger is always in your face”
“We have a sticky situation involving Finger”
"The Toronto media is very hard on Finger"
"Finger was scratched for tonight's game"
"He's been on Finger all night!"
Alright, I feel much better now it’s out of my system! It’s your turn folks.
Show me your best “Fingering”!
12 comments Last one added 12 months ago — Leave a Comment
Abby Pond 12 months ago
This is right up there with my favourite boring hockey game form of entertainment (usually employed while watching the Devils.) Substitute the word "puck" with your favourite slang term for male genitalia, and let the hilarity begin.
"Finger loves to grind away in the corners."
I thought of a lot more, but they weren't PG-13 enough to post.
Edit Comment Cancel
Alan Bass 12 months ago
haha great one adam. how bout, "Finger is having a tough time finding his way around"
Edit Comment Cancel
Adam Wright 12 months ago
How about "Finger is sure to stimulate the PP"
Edit Comment Cancel
Josh Lewis 12 months ago
^^LMAO!!
Stop the contest, Adam wins.
Edit Comment Cancel
Alan Bass 12 months ago
ahahahaha
Edit Comment Cancel
Spencer Callaghan 12 months ago
I think any winner should include the word "penetration".
Edit Comment Cancel
Adam Wright 12 months ago
first one in the article has "penetrates" lol
Edit Comment Cancel
Adam Amick 12 months ago
Finger makes the poke check and the puck is loose!
Edit Comment Cancel
Bryan Thiel 12 months ago
In honor of South Park—"Finger's banging in the corner."
Or "Yes Bob, that is tripping. See, the Toronto defender is trailing on the play, and to catch up, Finger gets up in his legs, twists, and he comes down hard on him hard—that's where the penalty happens".
I feel dirty....
BT
Edit Comment Cancel
Anders Edling 12 months ago
Well I guess this is a good way to avoid the issue that the Maple Leafs spent way too much money on a guy most people have never heard of. So I guess keep making fun of his name so we all don't have to concentrate on how bad the Maple Leafs will continue to be and how tragic it is that the Maple Leafs will continue to be bad.
Edit Comment Cancel
Scott Quinn 12 months ago
Finger penetrates deep.
Finger bangs away at it.
Finger has gone in too far.
And my #1: Finger has been in and out of the box all night.
Edit Comment Cancel
Adam Wright 12 months ago
lol i just thought of another one
"Finger made sure the PP came tonight!"
Edit Comment Cancel
Leave a Comment
You must register to post a comment.