Excuse me, but could we get some time to get some summer chores done? After all, summer in Packerland is just slightly shorter than Gene Upshaw's remaining tenure as the NFL's player-union guru.
The options for a Green Bay Packer fan this week are:
1. Support the projected starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers, even though he just told us to shut up. Rodgers told Sports Illustrated that Packer fans should jump on the bandwagon and keep their mouths shut.
Sure, Rodgers' proclamation to the Green Bay Packer fans (who also own the team and are, therefore, Rodgers' bosses) isn't quite as rude as the Kansas City Chiefs' ban on fans standing up, but it's still going to be interesting to see Lambeau Field so silent you could hear a quarterback drop.
2. Allow Brett Favre to come back. This would have been a neater option if Favre hadn't intercepted several Green Bay playoff victories by throwing interceptions. Hey, Brett, the adulation and money Packer fans have thrown at you is legion and legend. We love you. We will always revere and adore you.
But if you want to come back to Green Bay, you have to agree to play two more years. Rodgers will likely not want to come back after this year, and Brohm or someone else will have to carry the clipboard while you do your preliminary farewell tour in a Packer uniform. Play it or lay it, Brett!
3. Gas will be $5 a gallon very, very soon, with milk at $4 a gallon to follow. Congress might be in session this year for more than the 96 days they worked in 2007, but still should be required to knit mittens for kids because that's about all they are likely to accomplish.
Fans could be ditching tickets, jerseys, and all kinds of spending on sports. Athletes involved in pro sports need to say things like this: "I just want to play hard." "I just want to represent the team well." "I got 4.3 speed and I want to try to catch Osama Bin Laden." "I'm signing this contract because I realize the gravy train means the gravy is going to cost about five times more next year, and I am intelligent enough to know to get mine NOW."
Boys, the gravy train is about to leave the station. If you aren't on board, get ready for a real rough ride. If you want to stand up and proclaim your genius to get more money, shut up, sit down, play, and the fans will decide. Unless you have a plan to for real change, stumble, mumble, and accept your checks gladly.