Sonics' Trial Declared Mistrial: Rock-Paper-Scissors to Decide Winner

In a stunning move Wednesday, Judge Marsha Pechman officially declared the city of Seattle's attempt of keeping the SuperSonics in place, a mistrial.

"We feel that each side of the trial produced smart and intellectual points based on factual information," Judge Pechman said in a press conference. "Because of this, it was exceptionally tough to reach a verdict regarding the Supersonics."

Judge Pechman, ever the creative one, proposed a method to settle the case.

"In high school I spent my junior and senior years on the school's rochambeau team, where we placed third in the state. Based on my experience with this sport, it is my pleasure to announce a Rock-Paper-Scissors duel between Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels and Sonics owner Clay Bennett."

The move triggered raucous boos from the crowd, and one member threw a tomato.

"I don't see where all the hate is coming from," Judge Pechman explained. "I thought about this decision for minutes and decided that Rock-Paper-Scissors was the fairest and safest way to solve the case."

Sonics owner Clay Bennett was ecstatic at first.

"When I was a kid no one could beat me at Rock-Paper-Scissors. I mean, how is there a way to beat God or an atom bomb?"

When told that the only options allowed were Rock, Paper, and Scissors, however, Bennett was outraged.

"You have got to be kidding me. &%#^!"

On stake is the location of the Seattle SuperSonics for the 2008-2009 seasons and beyond.

Should Mayor Nickels win, the Sonics will stay in Seattle; should Bennett win, the Sonics will be moved to Oklahoma City, and Mayor Nickels will be forced to pay Bennett $3 million and Bennett's choice of either a $50 gift card to Applebee's or Mayor Nickels' three-generation recipe for homemade green bean casserole.

The face-off is scheduled for Thursday, July 3rd, and it will be simulcast on ESPN and ESPN2.