Thirteen-year-old David Sills has made a solid verbal commitment to USC, presumably making this decision between a glass of Sunny Delight and his ten o'clock bed time.
We would tell you what class he has committed to, but the scroll bar on scout pages only goes up to the class of 2013. Let's assume he is in the recruiting class of 2015.
Anyone have any plans for what they are doing in 2015? Have a calendar for that year? I don't even have a calendar for this year and still write checks with 2009 on the date line.
Wait, does Sills even have a checking account? Or are we still in the allowance and piggy bank stage?
How embarrassing for us adults. A teenager (barely) has plans for 2015, and we don't, except for April 15th. A middle schooler.
Amusing? Yes. Ripe for an outcry of insanity? Well, heck. Does any thirteen year old really know what he wants at that age other than to maybe sneak into an R rated movie?
Look forward to his driver's permit? Spy on the girls' locker room during PE?
Think his dad had a hand in this? Think his dad had Al Bundy-like delusions of grandeur and now can go brag at PTA meetings that his kid has a football scholarship at USC?
Enough about his dad. What about Lane Kiffin?
We knew Kiffin would stir the pot and create controversy, but this we were not prepared for.
How does Kiffin find time to check out the going-ons in Bear County, Delaware and recruit kids out of Red Lion Christian Academy, but he barely had time to give an exit interview in Knoxville? Kiffin apparently had more interest in "The First State" than the land of Elvis.
Even more pressing, does anyone think Kiffin will even be at USC in 2015? Vols fans, we are waiting for your response.
Apparently, the Tim Floyd method of recruiting has started to trickle down to the college football level.
Parents, lock your kids up. They aren't safe anymore.
This is the ESPN article on Sills' reaction:
"I'm very excited, but I was very, very nervous," Sills said in the News Journal report. "It was very cool, but my heart was beating so fast and I was scared. But after it was over, I was so excited and pumped."
Why would you be scared, young Jedi? It's just your life.
Screw the prom; you might get hurt throwing down a rap move. It's game film and workouts for you from now on.
Chicks are officially out. Concentrate, young Jedi. You are above all this adolescence nonsense.
Has the Todd Marinovich story even educated parents as to how undue pressure at an early age screws up a kid for life?
The fact that Sills already has a private coach spells out where his priorities at this critical stage in life lay. The pressure on this kid has got to huge—more pressure than when he turned 13 and realized he no longer qualified for a kids' menu at Red Lobster and had to select an entree from the adult menu.
Frankly, this is disturbing.
Daycare will soon be a recruiting hot bed for toddlers who can throw their binkys more than 10 feet and hit the kid who stole his Bob the Builder shovel with a tight spiral.
Sesame Street will now be airing Signing Day tickers at the bottom of television screens, and Barney and Friends will feature an educational skit on how to make reads when facing a 4-3 defense on third and four with Baby Bop blitzing.
I just checked the Trojans' depth roster, and USC has no one listed in 2015.
God, I hope this kid pans out. We need him.
Click on link for video of the six-foot Delaware bomber: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUb8F8Ltru0