If any good Samaritans have extra funds available after donating to Haiti or even Driven, Gregory Bayne’s documentary project on Jens “Lil Evil” Pulver, please find it in your hearts to bestow a generous gift to the “Jose Canseco Get a Life” foundation.
All proceeds will go straight to Mr. Jose Canseco, former baseball “roider” extraordinaire, in hopes that he will never be broke enough to step foot in a cage or ring for any legitimate mixed martial arts promotion ever again.
It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved; all contributors get a hefty tax write-off, depending on the amount donated, and fans with a strong affinity for the sport will not have to endure another Canseco/Ringling Bros. act similar to that of DREAM 9 when he embarrassed himself during his MMA debut against Hong Man Choi.
The 46-year-old ex-slugger turned author, sporting a mean pair of black sweat-pants, decided to spend most of his debut running the 400m around Choi—avoiding all engagement until injuring his leg. Once on the canvas, the towering Choi proceeded to smother the grounded, still-born Canseco with strikes for a TKO victory in the first round.
Once Canseco’s loss was officially recorded under the “L” column, the MMA community collectively let out a long sigh of relief, assuming the spectacle was a one-and-done affair.
All was well until Canseco blew his DREAM paycheck on full-body tattoos and witnessed a fellow middle-aged athlete fight last Saturday at Strikeforce: Miami. What was supposed to be a one-night stand with mixed martial arts that would end Canseco’s in-cage desires and lead him into “retirement” under the twilight of obscurity—is proving to be the foundation for a potential second fight.
Some unruly enemy of the state taught Canseco how to use Twitter so he could call out college football hall-of-famer and MMA rookie, Herschel Walker, earlier this week.
The desperate attempt for media attention and the chance to shamelessly make a quick buck came in the form of a tweet from Canseco’s Twitter account.
"I guess I may have to show Herschel Walker who the real bad Boy of the Sports industry is. If the powers that be are reading, I want in."
This self-proclaimed “Bad Boy,” of an all-encompassing sports industry, succeeded in his efforts to get a response from Walker and, even, Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker.
Needless to say, a prospective battle against Walker under the Strikeforce banner is highly unlikely according to recent comments made by Coker, who said he had no interest in seeing Walker against Canseco.
The rain cloud hovering over Canseco’s parade only gets darker in the form of Walker’s willingness to uphold the integrity of MMA. Though, the Heisman Trophy winner did add on the BobandDan.com radio show yesterday that he would hurt Canseco if they ever fought.
Here is an excerpt from the radio show that was recently posted on FiveKnuckles.com:
"Canseco wanted to fight me, and what's strange about it is that what I do is not a circus. Not going in there playing, trying to make money.
"My money went to Pastor Evans at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship. All my proceeds went there. I didn't get into this to make money. I got into it for the competition. Jose is doing this for the money and my thing is: if he wants to fight me and thinks it's going to be a circus, I will hurt him.
"This is not a joke, I will hurt him. I don't do things as a joke, as entertainment. When we go out there and play a flag football game, that's entertainment, that's having fun. But this MMA fighting is real. You can get hurt and he doesn't understand this. I'm doing this as a fighter, not as a joke."
Regardless of the mixed opinions of Herschel Walker’s involvement in MMA and his debut bout against a less than competent Greg Nagy, the football great deserves a certain amount of respect for his behavior towards Canseco—the most recent clown looking to leech off one of the most respectable sports on the planet.
Walker has presumed the role of a genuine ambassador for the sport.
With Strikeforce’s next CBS event on the horizon in April and Walker’s fighting future uncertain, it is clear that Jose Canseco will have to find a day job or take up some hobbies.
He is precisely what MMA does not need.
Listen Canseco, maybe if you had sparked this columnist’s interest, at the tender age of eight, in the world of fighting by starring in tremendous action movies like Bloodsport and Kickboxer, instead of juicing in the Oakland A’s locker room, I’d be a little more forgiving and supportive.
There seems to be an over-the-hill, transitional athletic pandemic sweeping over MMA these days due to the sport’s impending mainstream status and the successes of fighters like 46-year-old Randy Couture and current UFC heavyweight champion, Brock Lesnar.
As Lesnar and Couture are proven, at least an ounce of fighting experience or previous martial arts training is required of these migrating athletes or movie stars if they have any hopes of being legitimate mixed martial artists.
For all of the MMA outsiders: have some respect, an essential pillar of MMA, for the sport—I don’t pretend to know how to perform brain surgery because I can find my way around words.
Bottom line—the Jose Canseco’s of the world: Stay away from our beloved sport.
Under-qualified athletes 40 years or older are NOT WELCOMED.
Jingle your tin cup elsewhere.