Minnesota Vikings

Brett Favre's Bruises: He Only Made $12 Million for Them

NEW ORLEANS - JANUARY 24:  Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings warms up against the New Orleans Saints during the NFC Championship Game at the Louisiana Superdome on January 24, 2010 in New Orleans, Louisiana. The Saints won 31-28 in overtime.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)
Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images
Janean MartiSenior Analyst IFebruary 4, 2010

Imagine if U.S. soldiers had agents. You would be seeing a lot of pictures of bloody stumps, hacked off limbs, and burned faces to indicate why they just couldn't get to their objective that day.

I know a soldier who can't talk because his tongue was chopped off by a bullet. Another soldier of my acquaintance used to create thrills by playing the piano...that was before the shrapnel in his fingers made them unworkable in that nasty "conflict" known as Vietnam.

What about police officers or firemen? Don't they make like a lot of dough...maybe $50 K a year to start? How interesting would it be to see the injuries they suffer to protect your daughters, your wives, your sons?

Saw a jackhammer operator recently...a guy who works on dam projects for electric utilities so rivers don't flood your house but the electricity keeps flowing.

He had surgery to repair a rotator cuff. If he had an agent, maybe we could see pictures of what yielding a jackhammer does to the rest of your joints.

Poor Brett Favre lives a bad, bad life. He has the misfortune of playing a game, for $12 million a year, in which big men try to hit and tackle other big men.

Apparently, Favre did not know, when he signed up for his most recent $12 million a year, NFL football games may expose him to bruises. He may have forgotten during his last 17 years playing the same game that big men want to tackle him. 

Favre's agent, Bus Cook, reportedly emailed photos to a local blogger of poor Favre's injuries from the beating Favre took in the NFC championship game.

Oh, my, oh, my. Who would have thought Brett Favre could get a nasty ankle sprain and bruise and a big purple blotch on his arm during an NFL game?

My, oh, my, who would have thought an NFL quarterback making $12 million a year should be subject to such a shocking abuse of the body? There ought to be a law!

Send young men into war, into coal mines, into the mean streets and into houses falling down from fire, but let's not see the pictures. Let us see pictures of Brett Favre surprised upon getting bruised in an NFL game.

Let's see Favre limp into a Walgreen's for another commercial: how about ankle wraps? Or how about another lawn tractor commercial but no refitting for missing limbs required?

To Brett Favre from the World: there's no crying in football, especially at $12 million a year. You need to do a lawn tractor commercial in which you learn to grow a pair.

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