Hey Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather, Pick On Somebody Your Own Size

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Hey Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather, Pick On Somebody Your Own Size
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

The pound-for-pound world title. It's one of those things that gets debated over a bucket of wings and a pitcher of beer but, in reality, the P4P crown is merely a mirage.

Boxing fans who engage in this argument today were thrilled when it was announced that the pound-for-pound king would be crowned in March, but the shrieks of delight turned into groans of disappointment due to a seemingly benign technicality.

The current holder of the fake title, Floyd Mayweather (aka, the Pretty Boy), wants the current No. 1 contender, Manny Pacquiao (aka, the Pac Man), to take a drug test within two weeks of any fight that the two agree to engage in.

Floyd says Manny is the Barry Bonds of boxing and Manny says his pre-fight body prep is so sacred that it shan't be soiled by poking a needle into one of his punching arms.

The problem is that none of this matters since the Pretty Boy has been stacking the deck for years; he is the sixth-grade bully on the playground who only picks on fourth and fifth-graders.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying he's fighting bad fighters. I'm calling Floyd out for only agreeing to fight the best fighters from lower weight divisions or fighters who have simply passed their prime punching years.

Put Mayweather's record under a microscope and you can see this for yourself (http://boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=352&cat=boxer).  Look at the opponents and their fighting weights prior to fighting Floyd.

The most obvious mismatch was Juan Manuel Marquez.  In the ring, Marquez looked like David next to Mayweather's Goliath (but Marquez lacked a magical sling shot).

A closer look at the Marquez matchup: he fought most of his career between 125 and 135 lbs. with his best fighting weight at 130.  He agreed to fight Mayweather at 144 (but Juan only managed to tip the pre-fight scale at 142).  Mayweather unapologetically weighs in at a whopping 146 and agrees to write a $600,000 check to allow the extra poundage and, in reality, guarantees himself a victory.

There are some exceptions to the weight rule, like Oscar De La Hoya, but lest we forget that Oscar was 34 when he took the fight with Floyd who nearly lost his toy crown in a close 12-round split decision.

If Floyd agrees to fight you, you can bet that you are either past your prime or you are naturally five to 15 pounds lighter than him, like the Pac Man.

Manny started boxing professionally in 1995 at 106 pounds. That's an unimaginable 40 pounds less than Floyd in his last fight.  As recently as 2008, Pacquiao weighed in for a fight at 129 pounds.

Those of you who purvey in the mythical land of pound-for-pound boxing champs may as well save your debating breath for something more meaningful.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. is wearing the pretend crown and it will stay perched, cocked slightly sideways, on his head as long as the masquerading king can continue to use his smoke and mirrors to schedule fights with opponents who don't quite measure up.

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