The Gambling Addict's Guide to The Sports Weekend

The Super Bowl is a massive gambling event, where almost anything and everything can be wagered on. Sadly, it's still a week away, meaning there is a lull between the championship gambling weekend to Parlay and Teaser Bowl 44. Seemingly, this should be a weekend to spend time with family and friends that have been neglected through 20 weeks of football. Then again, you have to warm up to Super Bowl betting and this weekend has plenty of opportunities to stay fresh and be prepared for Colts-Saints and all the cross sports parlays it brings.

In many years this would be an off week for football, but the gambling gods have spoken and made sure the Pro Bowl is this weekend. Just because Vince Young played 10 games and half of the elected people rejected playing in the game doesn't mean that the game has no merit. Just because I watch football every week and have zero clue which channel the game is being shown on doesn't mean that you shouldn't watch (a sports bar night for you for sure).

Of course you could wuss out and bet the AFC +2.5, but a real gambler would place some money down on the highest scoring half, or if a team will score three consecutive times. Live dangerously and root for the best the NFL has to offer or at least the players who replaced those that declined, and those in the Super Bowl, and those injured, and those who faked injury.

It's one thing to bet on sports that take place at 6PM. Anyone can yell at the scream and pull out hair and fake sanity while others are awake.

It's another level of gambling to bet on a sport you have little knowledge of that is showing live at four in the morning on a Sunday. Just because the Australian Open might seem worthless in a fan sense, it is far from worthless in a gambling your way into foreclosure sense.

Roger Federer is going for No. 16, and you wouldn't want to miss out on more history, unless you bet on Andy Murray and then history squat. Don't forget about the mixed doubles title, also on Sunday. Look for the team of Makarova and Levinsky to surprise. Any team that sounds like a combination of an annoying dance craze and a scandalous female must be a winner.

Then again, the other team is the Black Paes combo, and I gotta feeling do do do do do, that Sunday's gonna be a good night, for gambling.

Sunday night is Grammy night, let's hit it up. Sadly, the oddsmakers appear to view a Black Eyed Peas victory as pretty unlikely for record of the year. Sadly it the looks like a good bet because of the name horse racing methodology.

Taylor Swift and Beyonce are favored to take record of the year, which is not to be confused with song of the year, even though the record of the year is just a song. Different people get the award, whatever, none of it matters when it comes to betting on it. I will say that "Use Somebody" is +150 for record of the year on one site and +600 on another. See, this article isn't completely devoid of useful information. Just mostly devoid.

Sunday night is busy, with the Grammys and the Pro Bowl, and that may seem like enough of a gambling fix. However, the one event designed for gambling addicts is on Sunday night and cannot be missed. You can't call yourself a true gambler if you don't put some money down on the Royal Rumble.

The professional wrestling equivalent to Keno, this is the event where 30 men enter incrementally, and only one is left standing at the end. Bookmakers tend not to take as many bets on this event since wrestling has some pre-determined rumors out there, so you may have to be more creative to get action going. However, if you hit up a bar showing the Rumble, I'm sure you can find enough people willing to bet on the winner, or the final four; will Big Show enter the Rumble as an odd or even number.

You will have to show some decorum in getting a TV turned to the Grammys while maniacs are cheering on the entrance of John Cena, but you will be calm and collected as you clap your hand together knowing you just won $20 since Cena entered between 16 and 20. The action might be fake, but the betting fix is real.

Wait, there's more. You have college basketball (including a fantastic Harvard-Cornell game), hockey, NBA, golf, Strikeforce, Miss America, Mexican boxing and so much cricket and soccer overseas that you might not even care when Super Bowl weekend comes.

You'll have your gambling fix filled and you'll enjoy the Super Bowl for what is truly is, a mass marketing blitz with an overindulgent pre-game show and an old deaf pedophile guitarist at halftime. Then again, what are the odds on the Super Bowl coin flip?