Manchester United, once the World’s richest football club, is £700 million in debt—a figure that would make even Lehman Brothers' executives blush.
The Glazer family has issued £500 million in bonds, borrowing some more millions.
Now that’s a solution.
When you run out of borrowed cash just borrow some more from someplace else. Just as long as it’s in Manchester United’s name.
Player salaries will inevitably take their toll on the debt.
So will their biggest player, Wayne Rooney, stick around?
Here's what Rooney says.
“There’s always speculation, and it’s nice that you’re talked about. But as I’ve said many times before, I’m a United player, and I’m very happy here.”
Well, I’ll be damned.
Thank God there are stand-up chaps like Wayne Rooney playing for the team they love regardless of the number of zeros on their pay check.
Manchester United is set to offer Wayne Rooney a new five-year contract worth £150,000 per week —a package that adds up to £40 million in total.
Erm, er...well, you can’t live on love, fresh air, and £90,000 a week.
Rafa Refuses To Be Rattled
Liverpool FC is a gift that keeps giving.
Rafa Benitez’s men came away from Wolves with only a point, meaning Manchester City can overtake the Reds if they win their two games in hand. Meanwhile, Spurs are already three points ahead.
Unbelievably Juventus, the same club foolish enough to sack Claudio Ranieri (who is now ahead of them in the table with AS Roma) is being linked with...you guessed it, good old Rafa Benitez.
Given that Rafa targeted the league title at the start of the season, and is now clutching onto European dreams, he seems like the perfect candidate for any job available right now.
In fact, I’m willing to wager that Liverpool fans would pay him millions to do anything but remain Liverpool boss.
Rafa of course, dismissed all speculation.
"I prefer to talk about the game. Is the speculation a distraction? I was really focused today on trying to do the right things and to try and win this game," he said. Is being linked with Juventus flattering? I prefer to concentrate on the game."
So that’s what happens when Rafa concentrates?
They draw with a team fourth from last?
I hope we never have to witness what happens when Rafa doesn’t concentrate.
Mick McCarthy, Benitez’s opposite number had a lot to say as well.
"If you see a better performance from a centre-forward than (Kevin) Doyle showed tonight, I would like to see it," he said. "If he had just managed a goal, it would have been one of the best all-round performances. He is physically strong enough to play that role.”
So the best centre-forward performance came from a centre-forward who didn’t score?
No wonder Rafa’s concentrating as hard as he can. When you’re facing a team with that kind of mindless optimism, you can’t beat them.
Oh Neill, He’s Mad
Martin O’ Neill has lashed out at Arsene Wenger following the Arsenal manager’s comments about Aston Villa.
"We know when you come here what you get, and we were not disappointed. Villa play a very efficient English game with long balls and (they are) very physical. They did it very well and are a good side when counter-attacking.''
O'Neill was furious and said:
"If that is what he saw tonight, well that is a ridiculous statement. He has made a few ridiculous statements in his time here (in England), and that is as good as any. That is an appalling insult."
Now if you’re confused what all the fuss is about, don’t worry, we have the answer. They reason for Martin O’ Neill’s fiery rage is because that fancy Frenchman forgot that even though everyone and their grandfather has said Martin O’ Neill should have got the England job a few years ago, O’ Neill is actually Irish.
Telling an Irishman he plays a very good English game is like telling an American that he plays a very good Russian game.
Didn’t you know?
Appealing is for Pansies
Rio Ferdinand has been hit with a four-match ban after appealing a charge for hitting Hull’s Craig Fagan last week.
The FA Statement read:
“The Independent Commission felt that the player's denial of the charge was frivolous and on that basis have awarded an additional one-match ban upon the statutory three-match ban awarded for violent conduct.”
That’s laughable, especially when it comes from the FA. The same FA that has single-handedly destroyed England’s 2018 World Cup bid by mixing Wembley and Old Trafford with the likes of Milton Keynes, Bristol, and Plymouth.
I believe it’s safe to say that FIFA might as well slap England with a four-year ban from hosting any event due to the frivolous nature of their World Cup bid.
That’s all for this week, folks. I’ll be back after the weekend features. In the meantime, here’s an “Early Edition” of next week’s headlines:
BREAKING NEWS: RAFA BENITEZ QUITS LIVERPOOL TO JOIN QUEENS PARK RANGERS
It is understood that Rafa Benitez joined QPR after it was revealed that QPR’s billionaire owners had more money that Liverpool was worth.
HARRY REDKNAPP BUYS ENTIRE PORTSMOUTH SQUAD, CLEARS THE CLUB’s DEBT
Having already bought ex-Portsmouth players Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, and Nicko Krancjar, Redknapp revealed that his master plan all along was to simply buy every player left at Pompey.
It is believed this sale has given Pompey a new lease of life in financial terms, though one can expect Avram Grant to lace up his boots soon. Pompey fans should not worry. Grant’s experience with the Israeli international team would make Yossi Benayoun blush.
WEST HAM BUYING NOBODY, NOW ON QUEST TO FIND OUT WHY
Having failed to purchase both Eidur Gudjhonsen and Ruud van Nistelrooy despite offering the pair massive salaries, West Ham United have confirmed that they are hiring a consultant agency to assess why top quality players continue to refuse the idea of moving to Upton Park.
It might be due to the fact that half the club is owned by bankrupt businessmen, and the other half by lifelong fans who have supported the club since they were 56 years old.
Please comment below. All forms of slander, hate, anger, praise, or otherwise are welcome and WILL be replied to.
Siva Prasad is a lifelong football fan who resides in a small country that most people seem to have not heard of. He hopes his disturbed brand of thinking might make for worthwhile reading and wonders if people get irritated when he talks about himself in third person. Also, he’d like to once again ask you to leave a comment of some sort.