LA Clippers Become a Laughingstock After Loss to New Jersey Nets

I would like to start this little vignette off by saluting the New Jersey Nets. After days upon days upon days of chalking up clones of the 12th letter of the alphabet, they finally add one of the 23rd letters tonight.

It's the fruits of perseverance and commitment that came in a season which showed little to bear for it.

As of this article date, Kiki Vandeweghe's Nets are still in contention to earn the worst single-season record in the history of the National Basketball Association, but this could be the start of avoiding such an ignominious honor.

That being said, let us take a cue from Steven Patrick Morrissey and laugh at the Los Angeles Clippers for being the team that New Jersey defeated to give the Nets their first win of 2010.

As a follower of the only Los Angeles NBA team that seriously matters: the Lakers, who, coincidentally, bucked their own woes at Conseco Fieldhouse against the Indiana Pacers, it's a breath of fresh air and another reason why the Clippers (20-24) are the have-nots of pro basketball in the City of Angels.

A person who goes by the name of Mr. Conventional Wisdom was quoted to say before the match, "The Clippers will continue New Jersey's dry spell."

Mr. Wisdom, I hope you are enjoying that piece of humble pie sent to you by one Kris Humphries. Hope it didn't have too many crow feathers.

Humphries was 10-of-14 with 25 points to lead New Jersey (4-40) in their 103-87 win. Brook Lopez added 19 points on 9-for-14 shooting and Keyon Dooling added 18 points, going 7-for-13 from the field. No Courtney Lee or Devin Harris needed in this one, either.

I think it was fitting that if there had to be one team (ONE TEAM) that would give the long-suffering, brownbag-with-holes-donning New Jersey Nets fans something to cheer about, it was going to be the Clippers.

The Los Angeles Clippers. That sorry group of marginalized employees for Donald Sterling, the Man Whose Checkbook Must Not Be Opened. THOSE Los Angeles Clippers.

It had to be the Clippers. Fate called for it to be the Clippers. Rumor has it that the basketball gods that be conversed outside the Izod Center and made a judgment in favor of releasing the Nets from the slump.

The gods saw it on these grounds.

1. Clippers head coach Mike Dunleavy was stuck in traffic.
2. The Nets' Trenton Hassell gave a convincing argument with the help of two sources known as "Talking Head A" and "Talking Head B" that New Jersey ought to be given a victory.
3. The losing streak was at 11 games prior to the contest. If one takes the numbers of the date 01-28 and combines them, the numbers add up to 11. The gods saw this as a sign that the slump will end. Had it add to a number higher than 12, it would have been another Clippers victory.
4. They were simply bored of the Nets losing. Let me reiterate this one more time: they were 3-40 before this game. Forty losses and we're not even at February, let alone the All-Star Break, yet. The gods were tired and became in a sympathetic mood, so I've heard.

So as a result, the New Jersey Nets finally got their first victory of the new calendar year, and the Clippers...well, they are once again just worth laughing at.

Not with, but in spite of.