Art Rooney's Out To Stop All White Men's Basketball League

Jerry The SecretaryContributor IJanuary 27, 2010

I was surfing "the internets" the other day and came across this article about the All White Mens Basketball League.

The first thought that came to my mind was, "Wow that's racist and what a surprise its origin is in the South, matter of fact the Dirty South, in Atlanta."  Then it was, "that's pretty funny, I'm surprised Dave Chappelle didn't come up with it first."  Then, I cringed, because I thought, "What if my boss Art Rooney saw this article?"

Well, this morning Rooney called me.  He saw the article.  Here's our conversation.

Rooney:  Hey Jerry, you hear about this all white men's basketball league?

Me: Yes Mr. Rooney...

Rooney: No way they will get away with this!  I'm putting my cape on right now and flying over to Atlanta.  It's Rooney rule time!

Me: You better make it your white pointy hooded cape, sir.  This guy "Moose" that's trying to start this league doesn't seem very understanding to ideas about giving minorities an equal chance at a job.  And you're getting pretty old now sir, plus you don't have your side kick Chuck Noll anymore to help you out.

Rooney: Old?!  You challenging me JTB?! (He calls me Jerry the Bi*** because I'm a male secretary) I still got Tomlin and I'm sure he won't like this neither!!  And I've got six rings on and a mean Rope-a-Dope punch if this guy's lookin' to tussle.  Pow, right in the kisser!  In my day there weren't 12 rounds in boxing, we fought til the end and I won't stop til I'm dead.  Ain't that evident JTB?!

Me:  Sir, this isn't the 1950s anymore.  This guy probably never even heard of the Honey Mooners.  He...

Rooney:  Shut up B!  I'm going to show him why they call this Steel Town USA.  I'll shove this Steel Toed Boot my dad made me back in the steel mills straight up his...

Me: Okay sir.  Okay.

Rooney: Let me finish boy!  Hold all my calls.  Tell 'em I got some business to take care of.  Rooney rule to the rescue!


Yea, I'll keep you posted.