Being General Manager: What Goes On Inside the Head of an NBA GM

The NBA draft is known for head-scratching picks.

Long, consistent achievement at a high collegiate level is trumped instantly by a performance in a private workout, or a few inches of height.

Ever wonder what these NBA GMs are thinking when they made their picks?

Well, in true Being John Malcovich fashion, I have found a portal that leads straight to the heads of these NBA GMs. Here’s what was going through their minds when they made their picks.

New York Knicks President GM Donnie Walsh:

Since Isiah Thomas finally got the boot, it’s a new day in New York. Afterall, I’ve actually won “Executive of the Year.”

I’m known for turning around franchises by making sound decisions and shrewd personnel moves. Knicks fans have greeted me with open arms from Day One. They’re sure that their days of despair are over.

For the first time in years, Knicks fans have reason to hope...Yeah, I better nip all of that in the bud.

Results: With the 6th pick in the NBA draft, the New York Knicks select Danilo Gallinari, from Italy.

LA Clippers GM Elgin Baylor:

Sure, his production suffered tremendously when Indiana’s program was suddenly the victim of incompetent leadership with no real sense of direction; but what’s that got to do with the LA Clippers?

Plus, he’s got the sturdiest looking knees in the draft. Just look at those knees!

With the 7th pick of the NBA draft, the Los Angeles Clippers select Eric Gordon from Indiana.

Sacramento Kings GM Geoff Petrie:

Now, wait. Who’s that guy that plays Dr. Patrick Drake on “General Hospital?” Jason Thomas? Jay Thompson? Jason Thompson? Is that it?

Lemme write it down to see if it looks right…Man, I gotta go to the bathroom. Lemme just leave this card right here...

With the 12th pick of the NBA draft, the Sacramento Kings select Jason Thompson from Rider.

Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Collagelo:

Let’s take a look at this scouting report here…”Slow. Unathletic. Questionable toughness.” Never heard of him, but Toronto could always use another white guy.

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