Ronaldo Breaks a Nose; Wenger Is a Comedian; West Ham Want Money

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Ronaldo Breaks a Nose; Wenger Is a Comedian; West Ham Want Money
Denis Doyle/Getty Images

Cristiano Ronaldo Breaks Down Defences by Destroying Noses

The world’s most expensive player scored an excellent first half double for Real Madrid against Malaga on Sunday, but dampened the winning feeling when he lashed out at Patrick Mtiliga and broke the defender’s nose.

Madrid’s director of sport Jorge Valdano defended his superstar with an argument both articulate and completely devoid of any logic whatsoever:

"A referee has to know who wants to put on a show and who wants to try and stop that.

"Rather than Cristiano having to adapt to Spanish football, what referees have to do is reflect about who tries to entertain so as not give an advantage to those who try and stop that."

See? That’s the problem, these confounded referees. Now if they had just allowed breaking of noses to go unpunished, the game would be a lot more entertaining.

And admit it you guys...you know you want to see No Holds Barred soccer. How about Last Man Standing soccer? Just think of all the possibilities. Endless.

 

Wenger Wants Not the FA Cup

After crashing out of the FA Cup at the hands of mid-table side Stoke, the Arsenal manager has this to say:

“I wanted to avoid a replay, that is why I sent on three experienced substitutes all together. And yes, it worked, didn't it. We have not got a replay!”

Congratulations, Arsene. Sir Alex Ferguson must be wondering how you discovered his secret handbook, “Winning the Champions League for English Clubs” which clearly details how to get knocked out of the FA Cup early on, while maintaining the stance that you really desperately wanted to win the FA Cup.

Of course, Wenger had more thoughts to add:

''Were they better than us? Let's say they were more dangerous than us. That is a very important factor in winning games. They do not give me nightmares; you get no surprises when you play at Stoke. You know what to expect, but as the game went on they looked stronger and stronger in one-on-one battles.''

Arsene, I’m glad you get no surprises when you travel to Stoke. So Arsenal fans should not worry. The Arsenal manager was not at all fazed by his team going to a mid-table side and making them look like world beaters. Kudos to Arsene, for he knew exactly what to expect.

And that was an early get out of jail/get out of the FA Cup card.

 

 

Hammers Haggle for Handouts

West Ham United have invited the man who was suing them not less than three months ago, their former manager Alan Curbishley, to invest his unpaid settlement in the club.

WHU owes Curbs an amount of approximately £2-3 million, and with the club facing mounting debts the new owners David Sullivan and David Gold are trying to ease their financial problems.

The Hammers are only £110 million in debt. When you compare it to Manchester United (£700 million) and Liverpool (£250 million) it seems like peanuts, but finding investment to stave off debts is slightly harder for a club at the wrong end of the table. You might be hard pressed to find moguls and tycoons queuing up to invest in a club facing the very real threat of relegation.

And that’s all for today, folks. Hit me up with some comments on Ronaldo in Spain, whether he’ll come back to England, are West Ham going to survive and whether Arsenal will win anything this season. Hate filled slander, angry remarks, they're all welcome.

Peace out, and thanks for reading.

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