NFC Championship: Football Gods Say No to Brett Favre

Sorry, Brett Favre—no Super Bowl for you.

I know there are fans out there who have been on your jock since your early Green Bay days.  I know Minnesota has never won a Super Bowl. 

But, sorry Brett, no matter what you were able to do last night, it wasn't gonna happen.  It just wasn't.

"But why, Jux," you ask?  "Why couldn't I be a great story again?  Why couldn't there be more of me all over every piece of media in the world?  Why-hy-hy-hy??" 

Well, Brett, here's effin' why:

1) You have already had your time, and then some.  Come on, man.

You have played in two Super Bowls and grabbed one ring.

You've won the MVP.

You've broken plenty of records.

You've done your sh*t.  Be grateful for what you've received, and move on, will ya?

2) Did your team's city get completely decimated by a gigantic hurricane a few years ago?  Nope.  That was, uh, oh yeah—NEW ORLEANS.  Not Minneapolis.

3) Continuing point No. 2, do you really think the Football Gods would let your dumb team win against the team whose city suffered through that unimaginable devastation?  Nope.

The gods made your team fumble 80 times, get a dumb 12-man in the huddle penalty, and yes, made YOU throw a ridiculously stupid interception at the end of regulation.

The gods easily let New Orleans win the coin toss for OT.  And of course the gods allowed the Saints to pick up that 4th-and-1 when your linebacker nailed the ball with his helmet, causing it to dislodge...but not fall out so your team could recover.

And of course, the gods provided a jet stream right down the MF'ing center of the goal posts for young Garrett Hartley to send the New Orleans Saints to the Super Bowl.  

So, Brett, to your credit, you came back this season and played exceptionally well.  And, maybe if your opponent was Arizona, we could see you getting to the Super Bowl.  But not against a team from New Orleans.

Come on, buddy, even you can understand that, right?