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Steelers Owner Art Rooney Reinstates Their Secret Formula For Winning!

Timothy KesslerJan 20, 2010

I wrote this article over six months ago, and I felt there was no better time than now to bring it back, asĀ Art Rooney II apparently read it himself… finally.

He has taken control and also told his coaches to readĀ itĀ before the start of next season.

Not only to read it, but to implement it into their daily thinking and the team’s philosophy once again.

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The information that lies within this short articleĀ has led to a league leading six Lombardi Trophies. Believe that or not, it’s true, and Rooney wants a seventh.

So I lifted the patent once again.

This is going to be one of the most scientifically based articles that you will ever read, as well as politically correct, I might add. So buckle in, read carefully,Ā and try and follow along.

Since this is concerning Pittsburgh’s ā€œrecentlyĀ ignored but thankfully reinstatedā€ secret formula for winning, only Steelers fans are allowed to read any further.

Thank you for your compliance.

We certainly do not need any New England patrons trying to sneak yet another advantage over us, as they already have by acquiring our signals earlier this decade.

Without any further adieu, let us begin…

Every one of us has heard the saying that ā€œthe best offense is a great defenseā€. Have you not? Yes you have. So there is our first truth.

We are going to accept it as such because there is nothing more scientific than popular belief. It is almost as good as seeing something on TV, or with your own eyes. So it has got to be true.

Now, I am going to try and attempt to prove another statement as truth without the backing of popular belief or acceptance.

This is not an easy thing to do. Please do notĀ attempt this at home. ThisĀ should only be attempted under theĀ supervision of a trained debating professional.

Here we goā€¦ā€the best defense is a great running offenseā€.

Why do I say that? More importantly, why are you going to acceptĀ it as truth?

Well, first…because I am telling you to. Second, it would be really nice of you. Third and most importantly, the article will not work unless you do. So justĀ accept it and keep reading.

Here are also some facts that prove it to be true.

1- A good running game will keep our defense off the field and fresh as our offense will be on the field longer. They will be more capable of defending the field because they will have more energy.

2- A good running game will keep the opposing teams defense on the field longer as it eat up time of possession, tiring them out by the fourth quarter. They will be less capable of defending the field because they will have less energy.

3- A good running game will keep the opposing teams offense off the field as well. The longer they are off the field, the less chance they have of scoring.

4- A good running game will keep the opposing team’s defense more honest, which will result in a better passing game, giving us a better chance at scoring.

This bodes well for our chances of success. It has been proven over many years of trial and error; hence, it is now a scientifically proven fact thatā€¦ā€œthe best defense is a great running offenseā€.

Popular belief and acceptance of this newly found statement will soon follow. Without a doubt it will become as widely accepted as ā€œthe best offense is a great defenseā€.

With that still fresh in our minds; let us apply both of those facts to another greatly known and widely used mathematical equation, shall we?

If A=B and B=C then, of course, A=C.

So, if…

ā€œthe best offenseā€ (A) = ā€œa great defenseā€ (B) …as is widely accepted

And…

ā€œthe best defenseā€ (B) = ā€œa great running offenseā€ (C) …as we just proved

Then it absolutely holds true that…

ā€œthe best offenseā€Ā  (A) = ā€œa great running offenseā€ (C)

It has now become not only a football fact, butĀ a mathematical fact as well.

There you have it. Undisputed scientific proof as to why the Steelers should have never left their run-first style of offense to become a pass heavy team.

Art Rooney has recently come to realize it himself, after reading this very article, of course. It was the Pittsburgh Steelers’ secret formula to consistently winning over the past 40 years and it will be again.

There can be no denying it. I do not expect to see a single person disagree.

The look on Polamalu's face proves it, as he contemplates all the scientific intricacies behind the formula itself.

I just hope no New England fans read the whole way through this article, or we will have to stop them before they reach Belichick with this ancientĀ Pittsburgh Steelers secret.

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