Kleeman's Jump Hook: Better H.O.R.S.E. Lineup Would Cure My Slam Dunk Boredom

The NBA's All-Star Saturday Night will arrive sooner than you think, and the evening's would-be highlight is shaping up to be lamer than a wedding proposal at a packed stadium and duller than a plastic knife trying to cut through steel.

The slam dunk contest's field includes Shannon Brown, Nate Robinson, and Gerald Wallace. Voters will choose between Eric Gordon and DeMar DeRozan after a mini-contest during the Rookie-Sophomore Challenge on Friday night.

Forgive me for yawning.

If Mark Cuban hopes to host the biggest All-Star Weekend ever, this is a crushing blow to that lofty goal.

It's not that Brown and the other contestants cannot dunk. The point guard has delivered some stunning stuffs as a member of the L.A. Lakers' bench brigade. He represents the most excitable player of the four.

When it comes to throwing it down, Robinson boasts as much creativity as any baller. However, the Krypto-Nate ship has sailed, and I would rather see someone else compete in his place.

You know, like LeBron James, or Kevin Durant, or Dwyane Wade.

You know, a bona fide star.

I'll give Kobe Bryant a pass since he's 31 and playing with a broken finger on his shooting hand and a bad back.

All-Star Weekend provides the gateway to absurdity, where jocularity and showboating always reign supreme. I would rather see one of the above top scorers flush the rock.

Besides, Robinson's selection might not be healthy for his game. He seems to struggle to separate dunk contests from real games, and his immaturity has twice landed him in the Mike D'Antoni doghouse this season.

If you cannot trust Wade to get serious when serious play resumes after the break, can you trust anyone?

I do not doubt that the chosen contestants will hammer home some spectacular dunks. They will put on a show.

Thing is, I would rather watch a LeBron dud-dunk than a Gordon stud-dunk.

There is a remedy, and if the NBA's decision makers were to pick one time to listen to me, now would be as good a time as any.

The dunking lineup is set, but the NBA has not announced the participants for its H-O-R-S-E competition. It does appear the league wants to do that again.

In its inaugural run, perhaps because of the hasty organization and announcement of the event, Commissioner David Stern selected players already invited to All-Star Weekend.

This year, Stern can do even better than Joe Johnson, O.J. Mayo, and Kevin Durant, and here are my suggestions.

The NBA's unofficial H-O-R-S-E champion is Manu Ginobili . He hits absurd shots fit for this competition in real games, even playoff ones. He might struggle to re-create many of his wondrous finishes or tricky heaves, but therein lies the beauty of his game.

Ginobili does not merit an invite to the big Sunday game, but any multiletter shooting tournament without him would be a sham.

How many times has Dwyane Wade gone to the circus in his career? I would wager that Ernie Johnson will call his name Thursday evening as an All-Star starter.

If he were not shooting the worst percentage of his career thanks to that pesky broken finger and back spasms, Kobe Bryant would prove a stupendous selection. In a December game against Oklahoma City in L.A., Bryant (a surefire starter for the West) somehow managed to loft a shot over the backboard while falling out of bounds amidst pressure from a double team.

Swoosh. Enough said.

Kevin Love could provide some long-distance entertainment, and he will surely get an invite to the Rookie-Sophomore Challenge.

J.R. Smith has never seen a shot not worthy of a hasty hoist in a real game. Imagine what he could pull off in this competition. Wouldn't he bring some hubbub to the dunk contest, too?

Who could lay down at the opposite baseline and kick the ball the length of the court and get it to drop through the hoop? Steve Nash , that's who. His soccer background might give him an edge over the rest of the field.

Why not invite a former-player-turned-assistant-coach like Dan Majerle , who can still nail one-handed, behind-his-back three-pointers from a chair? He routinely did this as a member of the Phoenix Suns broadcast team just before tip-off.

Anyone opposed to the idea of Nash and Ginobili in a H-O-R-S-E battle must have learned a different game.

Get Ginobili and some of these other tricksters to sign up for this contest, and I will watch with enthusiasm and an open mouth.

Cuban may then get to celebrate the biggest All-Star Weekend ever.

Pick three shooters at the last minute like last year, and I might fall asleep.