NBA Draft: The New York Knicks Select...Isiah Thomas

The fans sitting in Madison Square Garden's WAMU Theatre became restless in their seats as they anticipated the selection about to be made by the New York Knicks. 

"I think they have to take Kevin Love, he fits in nicely alongside Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry as a possible reincarnation of the Weather Girls [famous for the song 'It's Raining Men']," one fan was quoted as saying.

"What's that Italian guys name again?  I swear I will go up there and shove a salami up his [expletive] if he gets picked by the Knicks," said a softer, gentler Knicks fan. 

David Stern approached the podium and the crowd pretended it was a regular season Knicks game, going completely silent.  The commissioner would then rattle off the next phrase with the conviction of Ron Burgundy.

"And with the sixth pick in the NBA Draft the New York Knicks select....Isiah Thomas?"  David Stern shot up a ghostly stare as if he'd just been told that Tim Donaghy was standing over his shoulder.

The fans began to boo like it had just been announced that the New York Jets had drafted another tight end.  One man set his John Starks jersey aflame on the stage and wept uncontrollably.

"We told Isiah he would still have a job in the Knicks organization and I intended to hold up that promise," Donnie Walsh reasoned with the press.  "I mean we have a huge hole at the point guard with Stephon leaving next season, it just makes a whole lot of sense.  I mean look at the guy, he's in great shape."

After ESPN took a quick commercial break to sweep away the remnants of Stephen A. Smtih's exploded head, Jay Bilas kept muttering the word upside and staring blankly into the camera. 

Isiah stayed on stage for a few minutes as he took some pictures with the commissioner until finally being escorted off the stage by a SWAT unit. 

"I haven't been this mad since Renaldo Balkman got picked, it's the worst night of my life," one Knick fan eloquently put it.

It's safe to say the Isiah Thomas era is far from over in New York, and the New York media couldn't be any more thankful.