E-mails are always real, right? I mean, it’s not like anybody can just create a phony e-mail address and pretend to be someone else.
Why just today I received an e-mail from the desk of Mr. Hamidou Hassan. He informed me that he is the manager of the Accounting Department of the Bank of Africa.
According to him, some rich dude died in a plane crash and has no next of kin—besides me.
Mr. Hassan said:
“I WANT YOU TO ASSIST ME IN ORDER TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF NINETEEN MILLION THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES CURRENCY (US$19.300,000.00) INTO YOUR RELIABLE ACCOUNT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO OUR FOREIGN BUSINESS PARTNER, THE ORIGINAL OWNER OF THE FUND.”
I didn’t even realize I had relatives in Africa, but hey, it’s all in the e-mail!
He also added:
“ SINCE THE DECEASED LEFT NOBODY BEHIND TO CLAIM THE FUND, AS A FOREIGNER, YOU ARE IN BETTER POSITION FOR THAT, AND NOBODY WILL COME FOR THE CLAIM AFTER YOU HAVE APPLIED. IF YOU ARE READY TO ASSIST ME, SET UP A NEW BANK ACCOUNT OR FORWARD TO ME ANY BANK ACCOUNT AVAILABLE SO THAT THE PROCESS WILL COMMENCE.”
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.
All I have to do is reply to this e-mail and supply my bank account number along with all of my personal information and whamo. I’m a rich man.
Unfortunately, I can’t help being slightly skeptical. You see, Mr. Hassan types in ALL CAPS. I never trust anyone who types in all caps.
Now let’s talk about Mr. Teddy Atlas—a man who hates the Internet.
He recently said:
“To me, I feel dirty every time I go near the internet. I feel like I got to take a shower or something."
According to Teddy, the Internet is the devil.
Ironically, this self-proclaimed Internet hater felt compelled to go on record during ESPN’s Friday Night Fights and report on an e-mail (a form of communication that occurs exclusively on the Internet) that was allegedly sent by Team Pacquiao.
"From sources that told me, they said that people in the Pacquiao camp sent a couple of e-mails to the Mayweather camp a few weeks ago, about two to three weeks ago," Atlas said. "And the first e-mail was 'What would the penalty be if our guy tested positive?' and the second e-mail was 'If he did test positive, could we keep this a secret for the benefit of boxing?’
This was also reported by Tim Smith of the New York Daily News on Dec. 25.
Considering that these alleged e-mails were sent some time before Dec. 25, it’s kind of strange that on Dec. 30, Manny Pacquiao filed a defamation lawsuit against Floyd Mayweather Jr., Floyd Mayweather Sr., Roger Mayweather, Mayweather Promotions, and Golden Boy Promotions executives Oscar De La Hoya and Richard Schaefer.
Let’s be real. It is complete lunacy to believe that Pacquiao would file such a lawsuit against the very people who would certainly produce those e-mails in court.
If such emails existed, they would inevitably be used as evidence to support probable cause for suspicion concerning Pacquiao’s alleged use of performance enhancing drugs.
In other words, if Team Pacquiao had actually sent the emails, they would have to be stupid. Then they would have to be even more stupid to file a lawsuit.
But according to Atlas’s insinuations during an interview with Sports Columnist G. Leon, members of Team Pacquiao really are stupid.
"I don't think he has any rocket scientists around his group. You ever watch 24/7? (laughs) I mean none of these guys have rocket scientists around them. That's all I can say. It seems on the surface like a very stupid thing to do, to obviously have a record of something that can be incriminating or potentially look as though there's something that leads towards something inappropriate by even asking such a question? Yeah, I agree. And that was the first thing I asked. Why would somebody be so stupid to leave a paper trail on that? But yeah, these people that are around boxing, both as writers, both on the internet, both as people who get to hang around the camp and wind up becoming people that are involved in their careers, they're not rocket scientists and it just makes me sick.”
So how much intelligence has been demonstrated by Atlas regarding this issue? Could it be remotely possibly that he’s no rocket scientist himself?
Ever heard of a little thing called an IP address, Teddy?
To put it in terms that a non-rocket scientist like Teddy Atlas can understand: E-mails can be traced.
In light of that fact, where are these e-mails? Why haven’t they been made public? Do they even exist?
If they do exist, has it been confirmed that they came from the real Team Pacquiao?
If they were confirmed to have come from Team Pacquiao, could they have been sent by a disgruntled member of the Pacman entourage?
If simple logic is used, it’s impossible to believe that Pacquiao would have said, “Hey, let’s send an email and ask them if it’s okay if I test positive. After all, the Mayweathers are wonderful, understanding, good-natured people. I’m sure they’d understand.”
Come on folks.
What’s up with Teddy? What’s wrong with the boy?
Is the famous trainer jealous of the much more famous trainer, Freddie Roach? Is he just trying to steal a little thunder and get some publicity?
If he subscribed to the “All publicity is good publicity” school of thought, he obviously wasn’t familiar with the loyalty of Manny Pacquiao fans.
Perhaps he should have done a little research on the Internet.
Teddy is angered by all the negative responses he received due to his irresponsible hearsay reporting.
"This is the reason I want to get out of boxing; I don't want to be around it no more,” Atlas said. "Everybody wants to get in for some reason. I don't know why. They think it's glorious or something, but I wish I could get out of this sport."
Hey Teddy, if you really want to get out of boxing, it looks like now would be a great time.
Evil E-mail Address: firstname.lastname@example.org