Scalawag Replaces Pirate In Lubbock

Welcome to the fire Red Raiders, your parting gifts from the frying pan should arrive shortly and among them is a coach named Tommy Tuberville.

Coach Tuberville is well know throughout the SEC for his ability to count to six and win all of his regular season games and a conference championship without getting a chance to play for the national title. (A truly rare accomplishment in that league.)

Tuberville became infamous at Ole Miss for making the statement “They’ll have to carry me out of here in a pine box,” in reference to not leaving to coach at another school. Two days after he made that statement, it was announced that he was headed to Auburn.

During his time at Auburn Tuberville managed to expose both Bobby Lowder and Pat Dye for the inept traitorous frauds they are by surviving the now infamous "Jetgate"conspiracy involving then Louisville and current Arkansas head coach Bob Petrino.

Tuberville was however unable to survive the arrival of Nick Saban at Alabama and his career ended amidst great hoopla with a pseudo resignation / dismissal following the 2008 season.

Coach Tuberville's love of football is rivaled only by his love of duck hunting and his hunting trips during recruiting season ruffled more than a few feathers at Auburn. (pun intended) His frequent hunting excursions led some to believe that the coach was somewhat lazy when it came to recruiting.

Coach Tuberville is by no means a bad coach and his experience in the SEC will most likely prove to be a valuable asset to the Texas Tech program but I just can't help thinking that this somewhat of a lateral move for the Red Raiders.

At least he hasn't been accused of mistreating players.

Good Luck Tommy.