Pete Carroll to Seattle: For USC Trojans Fans, The 12-Step Post-Pete Program

The Official Post-Pete Carroll 12 Step Program IF PETE CARROLL DECIDES TO LEAVE.

1. Go into denial. After all, you've been down this road before, haven't you? Remember the interview on the Costa Rica airport tarmac with the Dolphins? Just keep being in denial.

2. Frantically search the Internet to find any stories that say it's not a "done deal" with the Seahawks. Good luck with that.

3. Hang on by a thread. Go to the Pete vigil tonight at 5 p.m. in Heritage Hall. Stare at the Heismans, talk with stunned alums, and throw eggs at Mike Garrett's parking spot.

4. Come to grips with the fact he is gone. If anyone asks why your eyes are red, tell them you burned one with Snoop Dogg.

5. Panic over 2010 recruiting class. Time to go to Scout.com and refresh every five minutes to see who is staying, who is going. Remember to drink plenty of water and rest.

6. Check out Mike Riley's record at Oregon State. Time to look at the new face of USC. Check Twitter to see if he has an account, and if so, follow him.

7. Replay January '05 BCS Championship game when USC beat Oklahoma 55-19 and convince yourself that those days will soon be returning. Drink. Rinse. Repeat.

8. Don a USC Emerald Bowl sweatshirt and head up to Westwood. Count how many giggles you get, then play Fleetwood Mac's Tusk on your MP3 player and sing "U-C-L-A sucks" at the chorus. Remember, if you're miserable, it's fun to make everyone else miserable too.

9. Take down USC flag in front of house. Remember, you are in LA, land of the bandwagoners. Don't ever put it up again unless you know for sure the Trojans are BCS Bowling. Then act arrogant.

10. Start getting excited over hoops team, then remember there's no postseason play for this team. Send nasty letter to Mike Garrett.

11. Stare at season ticket/Cardinal and Gold renewal letter and debate whether or not this is the year you should downsize your budget. Buy Raiders tickets instead. They're cheaper, even with airfare to Oakland factored in. Bandwagoner.

12. Become a Seahawks fan! It's not so bad. You can have Trojans on Saturdays and Pete on Sundays. Besides, Pete stinks in the NFL so you'll probably get him back in a few years anyway. You can hope, right?