Nick Saban's Sad Story

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Nick Saban's Sad Story
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Put yourself in this position:

You've just won the national title in your sport.  Your team has just splashed you with Gatorade.  Your players try to hug you in celebration. 

Wouldn't you be the happiest guy in the world?

Nick Saban wasn't. 

It comes as a surprise to me that Nick Saban found it impossible to even crack a smile as the Crimson Tide won the BCS Title Game.

One wonders what Saban was thinking about the entire game.  Lets listen in:

Pre-Game:

"Damn...I hope we don't f*** this up."

"Okay guys...Let's go out there and win this one...but I won't be happy either way."

1st Quarter:

"Okay take the ball.  We need to get Greg used to being hit early and often."

"I really like this shirt, I hope I don't get anything on it"

"Colt is out.........Thank you Jesus!"

"We gave up three points...F*** my life!"

"Are you F****** kidding me?!  They play in the Big-12!  RUN THE BALL MARK!!!"

"Another three...God D*****, Son of a B****!  Terrance, get your FAT A** in there and block that kick!"

"I hate my life..."

2nd Quarter:

"Finally some points!  Looks like I can call off my suicide watch..."

"Trent Richardson?  Who the hell is this kid?!  Where's Ingram!?"

"Damn, I really like this shirt.  It makes me look ripped, ya know, I might never wash this thing again and hang it in my trophy case."

"Wow I feel bad for this Gilbert kid...I wonder if he likes cutting too..."

Halftime:

"Okay guys, we are playing OK, but we've given up six points too many."

"Okay, Trent Richardson, please stay off the field!  This is a big game, I don't need any freshman antics...not today..."

"Guys, from here on out there is only one rule.  DON'T F*** UP THIS SHIRT!"

"Where's my Prozac at..."

3rd Quarter:

"This is boring...I can't wait to get this crap over with."

"Nah guys it's fine, I don't want us to score any more, let's give this f****** freshman over there a chance..."

"I should really write a thank you letter to Nike...this shirt is spectacular!"

"Oh...my...GOD!  Someone cover Shipley!!!!  This is a f****** FRESHMAN over there!"

"I'm too old for this s***..."

4th Quarter:

"Wow...seriously...again...I hate my life...God, why have you forsaken me?!"

"They don't make Prozac strong enough for this s***..."

"Ingram get your a** in there before I kill you and me!"

"WHO THE HELL IS THIS RICHARDSON KID?!?!?"

"Finally, this s*** is almost over..."

"NO!  Why you little B******* how dare you f*** up my shirt God D*****!  Get your A**** back here I'm gonna f****** kick your a****!!"

"Why the hell did they even bother with the trophy...I look like I just had my period all over this shirt..."

"five million isn't enough money for all this s***..."

I'm pretty sure that's how it went down.  Thank you for reading.

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