College FB Championship Chase: Week 9 Stock Report
Enron. Bernie Ebbers. Jayson Blair. Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney in “Say, Say, Say.” The Cal Golden Bears.
What do all of these have in common?
They pretended to be something they weren’t.
A real company. A real CEO. A real journalist. A pair of traveling salesmen hawking an elixir that gives real strength.
And an actual Top 25 Division I-A football team with spine, pride, and defense.
In short, they were all frauds.
You can’t spell “chokies” without “Hokies.” Oregon can play a little defense, and Southern Cal is—dare we say it?—a fine 9-3 team.
Somewhere, Dennis Erickson has a portrait of himself coaching an 0-8 team. At some point, someone (Saturday, Oregon?) will show him that portrait—and Erickson and his Sun Devils will dissolve in the sunlight.
South Florida is a bunch of punks. Georgia’s Mark Richt turns out to be—and this is surprising—classless.
And we still know not one thing about Kansas.
The Big Board (as per the BCS rankings)
1. Ohio State: UP
You know how you can scrape Wite-Out off a surface with your fingernail?
2. Boston College: UP
3. LSU: UNCHANGED
4. Arizona State: UP
The first act is the pledge. The second act is the turn. The third act is the prestige.
5. Oregon: UP
The Ducks are looking less and less fraudulent with each passing week. Maybe I should stop being so hard on them.
6. Oklahoma: UNCHANGED
The Sooners struggled mightily against their toughest opponent to date...but managed to outlast Bye Week in the waning minutes.
7. WVU: UP
8. Kansas: UP
Nice season you got going there. Shame if anything happened to it...
9. Missouri: UP
Now in the Top 10 in football AND journalism!
10. Georgia: UP
Wouldn’t it be funny if Georgia ended up in a BCS bowl game against WVU again? What do you think would happen?
Delisted from the Big Board
No. 11 Virginia Tech: Sometimes, clichés are true—the prevent defense prevents you from winning.
Hot Stocks to Watch
No. 13 UConn: The Huskies started too far down, have no big-time road victory, and, of course, will be destroyed by WVU on Nov. 24th...but right now they're flying high.
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