Support the Dallas Cowboys and Boycott Philadelphia Cream Cheese (Humor)

Richard ZowieCorrespondent IJanuary 5, 2010

NEW ORLEANS - DECEMBER 19:  Linebacker DeMarcus Ware #94 of the Dallas Cowboys jogs on the field during their game against the New Orleans Saints at the Louisiana Superdome on December 19, 2009 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
Scott Halleran/Getty Images

Back in the 1990s, when the Dallas Cowboys made their runs at three Super Bowl victories, I remember the Cowboys faced the Philadelphia Eagles in the divisional playoffs; the first time in the 1992-1993 season (they defeated Philly 34-10) and the second time in the 1994-1995 season (they defeated Philly 30-11).

I am absolutely convinced that the secret of the Cowboys' success, and the secret of their success on Friday, will lie in a boycott by Cowboys fans, players, coaches, front office staff, and even Jerry Jones of one particular product.

This week, Dallas fans, do NOT eat Philadelphia Cream Cheese!

In those past two seasons, stores in Dallas announced they would pull the Philly cream cheese off the shelves and would encourage Cowboy fans to spread store brand or some other national brand on their bagels.

I encourage those stores to do the same. I also encourage the two primary grocery stores in my hometown of Beeville, Texas (I've also lived in the Texas towns of San Antonio and Alvin, Texas) to remove Philly cream cheese from their shelves. Are you listening Walmart? Are you listening, H-E-B?

This Saturday's game will be a dog fight. I am convinced the Eagles will fight tooth and nail to avoid losing to their hated rival. To combat those efforts, we'll need to weaken them by using store-brand cream cheese.

With every bite of cream cheese on your bagel, with every bite of cherry cheese cake (which contains cream cheese), think of your duty as a 'Boys fan to help support your team. Every bite will make Donovan McNabb throw an errant pass. Every bite will help the Dallas defense stuff the Philly run. Every bite will bewilder the Eagles defense as they try unsuccessfully to stop Tony Romo.

Turning our noses up to Philadelphia Cream Cheese helped Dallas to thwart the Eagles in the 1990s, and it can work again. We gotta believe!

[Yes, a shameless ripoff of a slogan made famous by Philadelphia Phillies reliever Tug McGraw, but I'm convinced he was a Cowboys fan].

Granted, Philadelphia will probably charge double to restaurant and bar patrons dressed as cowboys, but we must still do our part. Boycott Philadelphia Cream Cheese and help the Dallas Cowboys pluck the Philadelphia Eagles!

Richard Zowie is a Bleacher Report blogger who, despite hating the Eagles as a team, has a lot of respect for their players and management. Post comments below or e-mail .