Alabama vs. Texas: The BCS Not-ional Championship Game

On Thursday, Jan. 7 at 8:00pm, Texas will play Alabama in the BCS National Championship Game at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. One team will emerge victorious, secure a perfect season, and hoist a sparkling, crystal football-shaped trophy.

Confetti will rain down. Tears will be shed. There will be hoopla.

Approximately 600 miles away, in Boise, Idaho, a different sentiment will linger.

By defeating previously unbeaten TCU in the Fiesta Bowl, the Boise State Broncos completed their season with a perfect 14-0 record. That’s 14 wins, zero losses. Undefeated. Untied. Unblemished. Unscathed, yet unfulfilled.

Despite accomplishing absolutely everything within the realm of possibility; despite succeeding in every single endeavor they undertook, the Broncos will not play in a National Championship Game.

In fact, the Broncos weren’t even seriously considered for a farcical, iniquitous, morally irrelevant football event masquerading as a legitimate championship game.

No level-headed human being can argue that this is fair on any level.

The BCS is stupid; undeniably, inexplicably, and indefensibly stupid.

The University of Texas and the University of Alabama might have the two best football teams in America. It’s a possibility. You can make a better argument for those two teams than for any other team in the country.

They are both excellent teams, stacked with skilled, talented, and athletic players. They both have excellent coaches. They have excellent leadership and have done everything that has been asked of them. They absolutely deserve a chance to play in a true National Championship Game.

Unfortunately, they’ll never get that chance.

Neither will anyone else, as long as the BCS tyranny continues.

National Champions cannot be determined on paper. Fans, writers, coaches, pundits, politicians, preschoolers, senior citizens, atheists, religious zealots, experts, and amateurs will argue incessantly about who they think is good, better, and best.

On a football field, or any other field of play, opinions don’t matter. Two teams play. One team scores more points than the other team. There is no voting, no speculation, no ambiguity.

The fact that the “National Champion” of college football is determined by pens and papers and computers is the single greatest travesty in American sports.

We cannot change the system overnight, but there is still a glimmer of hope for some semblance of justice.

Voters in the Associated Press poll have no obligation to vote the winner of the BCS National Championship as the No. 1 team in their individual ballots. If an individual voter were inclined to do so, he or she could list Boise State or Ohio State or even San Jose State at the top of their ballot. It is completely discretionary.

Alabama will beat Texas, or perhaps Texas will beat Alabama. It doesn’t matter. Someone will win the charade in Pasadena.

Someone will win the Sasquatch Bowl; the Chupacabra Bowl; the Kongamato Bowl; the Fictional, Extraneous, Pretentiousness Bowl.

The winner will be crowned BCS National Champion and will be voted the No. 1 team in the Coaches poll. The winner is guaranteed a National Championship and all the glory, prestige, and honor that comes with it. The winner will be very deserving.

But Friday morning, two teams will still be perfect. Two teams will be worthy of a National Championship.

The voters in the Associated Press poll have the opportunity to be heroic administrators of justice and honor.

It’s not about who we think is better. Most people probably think that both Texas and Alabama would manhandle Boise State on a neutral field. They might be right. It still doesn’t matter.

It’s about logic. It’s about common sense. It’s about fairness.

It’s about raising a collective, friendly middle finger to the corrupt establishment.

It’s the American dream. A stand should be taken. A message should be sent.

In the spirit of apple pie, Norman Rockwell, and pre-steroids baseball, Boise State must be crowned Associated Press National Champion.

Two perfect teams. Two National Champions. Anything else would be a total traveshamockery.

A tie is like kissing your sister, but the BCS is like being molested by your uncle.

To all AP voters, please, please do the right thing. Vote Boise State No. 1. Heck, drop Alabama and Texas completely off your ballot. It won’t matter to them. They’ll have their moment of glory, their legacy, either way.

Boise State needs a little help.

It would give thousands of Idahoans an unexpected reason to smile and celebrate on an otherwise gloomy, frigid, winter day, but it would mean so much more.

It’s not about Boise State. It’s not about Alabama. It’s not about Texas.

It’s about integrity.

A Boise State/Alabama Split National Championship would be a victory for equality, for underdogs, for reason, for America, and for all things good, right, and pure.