Nemanja Vidic Packing for Madrid: We're All Going on a Real Holiday

It looks for all intents and purposes as if Nemanja Vidic will be Madrid-bound this summer, the Serbian’s head having been turned in the manner of so many before him by the allure of the Santiago Bernabeu.

With Rio Ferdinand now perennially injured and his immediate career in doubt, Manchester United appear close to losing the foundations that their recent dominance has been built on, foundations which constituted United’s best defensive pairing since the halcyon days of Bruce and Pallister.

United lost 0-1 at home to geographical arch enemies Leeds in the FA Cup this past weekend.

Enough of a shock in itself, the defeat was reportedly preceded by Nemanja Vidic being withdrawn from the starting line after informing Ferguson and the back-room staff that "something did not feel right in his body."

When I was in primary school I was off sick for around a week and a half with a freak succession of genuine illnesses. When my afflictions cleared up, I decided going back to school sounded too much like hard work and I concocted some mystery stomach cramps to buy me a couple of extra days.

When pressed to elaborate on my most recent ailment by my dutiful mother, to the best of my recollections, my response was word for word the same as the Serb’s.

In my own defence, after 10 days of freedom from the rigours of the classroom, my invention was partly a product of my subconscious, which had become institutionalised in a routine of playing with Lego and eating boiled eggs.

But what of Vidic? As the terrace ditty penned by those famous wits on the Stretford End alludes, Nemanja is endowed with prodigious strength and bravery.

It would certainly take a man with considerable pluck to approach Alex Ferguson (who you will remember always has a hair dryer at the ready) shortly before kick off in the historic FA Cup third round, in the first meeting with your local rivals for years, and quietly inform him and his assistant that you were feeling a little poorly but couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was.

Has Vidic, after only half a season of Real-related gossip, become so enamoured with the idea of pulling on the pristine Merengues shirt that his brain is subconsciously cooking up phantom illness and injury?

If rumours linking you with the Spanish giants are a cause of ill-health, it would explain why a certain Cristiano Ronaldo, when he wasn’t scoring outrageous goals and terrorizing defences, spent a good portion of the last five years rolling around the grass in various English and European stadiums, in obvious agony.

I’m not a doctor and perhaps an in-depth study into a potential relationship between ill health and transfers to Real Madrid would be more at home in the Lancet.

Unfortunately, the real reason for Nemanja’s apparent willingness to jump ship without so much as a season of half-hearted denials (and half-hearted performances, see: Adebayor, Emmanuel) is for the simple reason that Real Madrid C.F. constitutes the ultimate destination for today’s modern footballer.

Manchester United and Barcelona (although far from perfect) represent a lot of the things a football club should be. They attempt where possible to nurture home-grown players. They both try to play in an attacking, entertaining manner. In the case of United, they possess the longest serving manager in the English game.

In Pep Guardiola, Barcelona have promoted one of their own to the top job after he has served his apprenticeship on the pitch and in the youth team dugout. Both clubs place an enormous amount of importance on the traditions their clubs embody, politically and socially, as well as in a sporting context.

Real Madrid share this focus on tradition and heritage, although their traditions and values are less virtuous from those of their Catalan rivals and of Ferguson and Busby’s United.

Real value prestige, glamour and ultimately success above all else. Their obsession with European conquest and their unhealthy attempts to acquire star names at any price have embroiled the club in a decade of instability on and off the pitch, with a mixed return in the trophy cabinet and a revolving door in the manager and president’s offices the consequence.

At Real, the formula is to buy big names and tell the manager to make a team out of them that will win the League and the European Cup in style. When they inevitably fail, the managers will come and go until the next election, when the president will be next.

Players such as Vidic and Ronaldo are seduced by the Real Madrid siren of glamour, wealth and success. The reality is that players signed by Madrid are pawns in the club’s endless yet thus far futile attempts to purchase what United, Barcelona and others have had to earn through years of patience and good practise.

Before becoming the next player to depart a stable and determined Old Trafford, Vidic would do well to remember that when the latest Real regime falls and the next clear out begins, none will be above reproach.