In an effort to capitalize on the current strengths of the two teams scheduled to play this upcoming Saturday, San Antonio officials have announced that they are renaming the Alamo Bowl and have obtained a last minute sponsorship.
The Bowl will now be sponsored by the American Trial Lawyers Association and will be named the Plaintiff Bowl
Bowl spokesman Biff Roberts said, “We’re really excited about this tie in, and the name change reflects our genuine care and concern for those who have been dissed by ‘the man’. We're looking forward to a great game in the Plaintiff Bowl."
Halftime entertainment will include the “ambulance chase” where three lucky contestants in golf carts chase down the bowl mascot “Mr. Plaintiff.” Winner gets a free immigration hearing representation coupon.
Bowl sponsors are also trying to “make lemons with lemonade” by leveraging on the current situation with both teams. At Michigan State nine, (count em’, nine) starters are out of the game, and facing legal action due to a fight and suspected subsequent cover up.
And of course, the pirate, Mike Leach, is on his way to court to sue his former employers and the other team in the contest, the Texas Tech Red Raiders. "We think the situation with both teams show...hey, you never know when you might need a lawyer," stated Roberts. "One day you're a happy go lucky guy, coaching away on the high plains and the next day...poof...it's gone—like the light leaves from a dark shed with a concussed kid locked inside."
And, they pointed out, the pirate man is a lawyer himself. (The difference between lawyers and lab rats? No matter how much you pay em', there's some things a lab rat just won't do.)
So come on down to the Plaintiff Bowl. Free “Get out of Jail” coupons will also be given away, courtesy of Jones Bail Bonds; After all, as Jones says, "Why Go To Bed With a Price On Your Head.”