Lane Skywalker and Jedi Mind Tricks

John WhiteCorrespondent IIIDecember 27, 2009

KNOXVILLE, TN - OCTOBER 31:  Head coach Lane Kiffen of the Tennessee Volunteers watches against the South Carolina Gamecocks at Neyland Stadium on October 31, 2009 in Knoxville, Tennessee.  (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)
Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

I apologize in advance for the shameless Star Wars references, that being said let's begin.

While reading, humor me by imagining this as the rolling prologue at the beginning of every Star Wars movie ,and while we're in the spirit, "Rocky Top" is being performed by the orchestra as Franciscan monks sing the chorus.

Stevie Boy started it in the Swamp with his infinite pokes at Phil Fulmer. "You can't spell citrus without UT." Phil Fulmer would actually grimace when you mentioned Spurrier's name in his presence after that and often looked quite ill when they met each other midfield before and after the game.

Steve was handing out Jedi mind tricks as fast as he could administer them. Did Steve get in his head? Sure he did and Peyton's too. Remarking on Peyton Manning's decision to come back for his senior year, Darth Visor pops out with, "He wanted to be a three-time Citrus Bowl MVP."

He left everyone doubting their ability, and when it was time to play ball, he smiled and hung half hundreds on teams and trotted on their pride as he jogged into the locker room.

Along the way he was called eccentric, crazy, arrogant, and people said there won't be another like him. Nope, there is not another Steve Spurrier anywhere...or is there?

Now, Lane does not have the exact same pedigree as Stevie, but he is wearing the visor. Don't say you haven't noticed it too, and the way he takes it on and off leaves you wondering if Monte was really home during that special moment. Is he as hated as Steve Spurrier was or is? I think he's getting there and picking up speed.

I admit I have judged Lane Kiffin in many ways, few of which reflect him admirably, but I am starting to warm up to him with Urban Meyer's resignation/rebirth. You have to believe that with Meyer running that kind of program and being called out by the Wunderkid on and off the field, a la Spurrier, that it's going to takes its toll on you.

Had it not been for Mike Slive, Meyer might have been chugging Malox on the sidelines or, at the very least, wall-papering new quotes in the Gators locker room. It's irrefutable that Lane Kiffin is his head, along the with the Gators squad and the hopeful recruits. (Insert creepy voices and theme music here).

All fun aside, when you are running a program that is intent on winning—as is most teams in the SEC—it gets under your skin a bit when the rookie coach steps up and says your reign of terror is over.

You might question yourself when your own Jedi knight in Tim Tebow falls short in the big game or as you stroll along you stop to glare at the inscribed monument declaring dedication and the will to win and wonder if the monument is nothing more than a grave marker. Maybe you woudn't have had as many chest pains if you had stayed at Bowling Green.

The real question Urban Meyer now faces is if he has anymore hopefuls that can channel all the bad mojo that Kiffin throws their way or will he try to rescue the recruits after alienating them with his recent declarations of self-doubt.

Stay tuned while Lane Kiffin wields Ed Orgeron like a robust light saber, then rescues more top dollar NFL coaches. (Play theme music).