Pacquiao/Mayweather: Mediation Hearing By Caesar Cliffius

Cliff EasthamSenior Writer IIDecember 26, 2009


I know, I have supported Manny Pacquiao during this stalemate. I am also painfully aware that the previous day I was in favor of tarring and feathering Pretty Boy Floyd.

I must say I got reamed far more by my article condemning Pacquiao than I did from Money Mayweather.

I want to talk to Bob Arum, Golden Boy Productions, Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Sr., Manny Pacquiao and Freddie Roach, as this article is directed to all of them.

Bob Arum, stop telling everybody how pissed off Manny is. This is a G-rated platform we are working with here. We are not in the corner between rounds, tone it down a little. Thanks Bob, you Sir, are a winner. We can feel you man.

Gentlemen, why all the fuss about drugs? Look at Manny for a moment. Stand up there Manny so everybody can see you there. There is no third eye in the middle of his forehead so, according to Roger Clemens (the King of Denial), he doesn’t do steroids.

It is totally irrelevant that he started fighting at 106 pounds. It doesn’t matter that his walking around weight is now over 150. It is all clean living, hard work, dedication, and a gift from God.

It also means nothing that he has cold-cocked the likes of Ricky (The Hitman) Hatton and Miguel Cotto. Calm down a little there Money, I see you are getting agitated. I realize you softened up Hatton for him, and you did a fabulous job, my good man.

It means very little that so few men have grown so much and still maintained such terrific power. In the old days they wondered how a man could go from welter-weight to middle-weight (before the naming of the junior middle or super welter weights) and still be able to knock a man out.

Pretty Boy Senior, why do you insist on saying Pacman is a drug user? Just because you are a convicted felon doesn’t mean that everyone in the boxing community is one. Sure boxing has a bad name, a black eye (no offense to any African Americans intended), and a sullied reputation.

You also insist that your boy can beat up Pacman, so why don’t you want him to fight the Fierce Filipino? I think it would be very entertaining and would make more money than A-Rod has in his checking account. Can you imagine?

Oscar, I am glad that you are here at the arbitration hearing instead of sending one of your minions. You have fought them both and lost to them both. Some can understand that you are still complaining over the decision you lost to Money.

Nobody is wondering why you didn’t get up off the stool to finish your fight against Manny. Does that, Sir, have any relationship with the fact that you want Manny to take so many drug tests?

Freddie Roach, what can I say? You have taken the little guy and made him the fierce warrior he is today. Congratulations, Sir. Having said that, paranoia strikes deep, into your life it will creep. It starts when you’re always afraid, step out of line; the man will come and take you away (lines shamefully stolen from Crosby Stills Nash and maybe even Young).

Don’t let them bring you down, my good man, stand up and claim the civil rights you have and what legal recourse you may take.

Manny, it’s okay to be afraid. Just because your Momma said don’t fight the man because she is afraid of what will happen, doesn’t mean it's all bad. In fact, it is all good, Bro.

Listen up you arrogant chowder heads, the whole roomful of you. Fifty million dollars is at stake here, just in salaries. Does that mean anything to any of you? Do you realize that the aforementioned A-Rod would have to play an entire season for that kind of money? Are we going to let a little blood-letting get in the way? Or you Floyd, are we going to let something as trivial as steroids get in the way of a mega-fight?

Come on, man up all of you. Let’s do this thing.

No blood tests, no last minute weigh in. Manny, take whatever you take to win, do it. Floyd if you can gain 30 pounds by fight night put it on. Let’s see if Manny can knock out a Light Heavyweight.

Thank you all. I am quite done.

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