'Twas the Year In Review: A Poetic Recap of Sports in 2009

Note: I’m loosely taking a page from Clement Clarke Moore’s famous Twas the Night Before Christmas poem to give a 2009 year-in-review look at sports.

’Twas the night before Christmas, when Tiger got defanged,

By TMZ and Elin, mistresses and Y. E. Yang.

He swung hard in four majors and won nary this year,

With shame and fewer sponsors and a family to repair.

The Yankees got all cozy in their new Bronx confines,

Won their 27th Series and again played sublime.

Over the Phillies of Philly, they struck with their might

And Rivera, CC, and Jeter were all stars and fall knights.

In the NBA, some sought a Boston-LA repeat,

But only the Lakers reached the ultimate feat.

Kobe and Pau and Trevor played dominant roles,

As Dwight “Superman” Howard and others were fool’s gold.

Hockey rinks again brightened by sights of No. 8,

Two-time MVP Ovechkin, or simply Alex the Great.

However, the NHL finals was a rematch of Pens and Wings,

That saw Detroit scratched out by Sid the Kid and Malkin.

College football champs were decided by BCS,

With computers, not playoffs, to further push this BS.

Yet the Gators of Gainesville took the title game higher

By beating Stoops’ Sooners, 24-14, via Tebow and Meyer.

The North Carolina Tar Heels won in college men’s hoops,

While the women of UConn, at the end, also cut nylon loops.

Tyler Hansbrough played great, as did Lawson and Green,

Though Geno’s girls, mostly Maya—just as tough champenes.

Usain Bolt of Jamaica definitely blew away his foes;

In Berlin, the man from Trelawny had the fastest of toes.

A world record of 9.69 sec in the 100 meters he had set,

Track and field’s biggest star now has London 2012 to get.

Jimmie Kenneth Johnson garnered his fourth straight Sprint Cup,

The El Cajon, California, native left everyone else in the dust.

NASCAR’s newest king seems to have not a doubt,

Even as newbie Danica Patrick will try to figure him out.

Swiss-born Roger Federer has grown accustomed to wins,

That even off the court had time to raise babies (two, twins).

Sans Nadal, he finally secured Roland Garros without a jam,

Acing Wimbledon for the sixth time, his 15th Grand Slam.

When September arrived, Fed sought to win at Ashe,

Never knowing that Del Potro had that dream dashed.

Whilst Serena breezed through in England and Down Under,

The diva did lose her cool in Queens and put herself asunder.

February saw Steelers and Cardinals in the Super Bowl,

Two very good teams with eyes on the prize, a coveted goal.

Arizona spiked things up when Larry Fitz found his groove,

Even though Pitt got Lombardi VI—Big Ben, Holmes too smooth.

Japan topped South Korea in the World Baseball Classic,

And Brazil won the FIFA Confed Cup, tactic by tactic.

Speaking of Brazil, the IOC gifted the Olympics to Rio,

Samba excitement in 2016 for a roaring, South American leo.

Contador snatched the Maillot Jaune, not Lance, in July,

Former teammates, now rivals, split as one sped by.

Pakistan became winners of cricket’s Twenty20,

As Charles Barkley served jailtime for drinking aplenty.

Michael Jordan was finally inducted into the NBA’s Hall of Fame,

So did Bruce and Rod Woodson in Canton, getting love all the same.

Henderson and Rice followed their path in Major League Baseball,

Plus Yzerman, Robitaille, and another hockey great, Brett Hull.

2009 was a good year, as well with much tragedy,

Gone were Kemp, Fidrych, Kalas, and Chuck Daly.

In addition, R.I.P. Pollin, C. Henry, K. Yow and McNair,

Davidson, L. Miller, J. Howard, M. Brand and Norm Van Lier.

This Christmas promises to be a great sports smorgasbord:

Titans-Chargers, Magic-Celts, Lakers-Cavs—a holiday reward.

I’m looking forward in doing this poetic wrap-up again,

Waiting for more magical moments and many thrills in 2010!