Baseball GMs Report Managers Really Suck This Week

ChatterBalks looks at the recent spate of manager firings and thinks "Man, those guys sucked."

by ChatterBalks (Senior Writer)

3

427 reads

Humor

June 20, 2008

Humor, Baseball, MLB, Satire, Editorial

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John Gibbons of the Blue Jays was the latest manager to be fired this week, following the dismissals of Willie Randolph (Mets) and John McLaren (Mariners). These dismissals are making waves all over baseball, as GMs everywhere wonder why these managers suddenly suck so bad that they have to be fired.

"It doesn't make a lot of sense," said Mets GM Omar Minaya, who fired Randolph in the middle of the night following a Mets victory in Los Angeles. "Willie used to be totally good. He won 96 games two years ago and now he can't manage anymore. But I know that when I constructed this roster largely made up of old players who didn't have decent backups in case of injury or ineffectiveness, I gave Willie every chance to win. It's a shame that his managerial talents so completely deserted him."

Toronto GM JP Ricciardi agreed.

"You know, a couple years ago, we finished in front of the Red Sox with John at the helm, 87-75. You can look it up. But since then, it's like John's been a completely different manager. He hasn't been able to use A.J. Burnett, whom I went out and got to help this team. He managed Frank Thomas and Frank Thomas was pretty bad this year...I don't know what happened. My guess is he's not enough of a winner."

Ex-Seattle GM Bill Bavasi was running for his life and thus unavailable for comment, but McLaren felt free to discuss his fate.

"I guess the bottom line is I'm not a very good manager," he said. "I really don't know why anyone would think anything different. I mean, sure, every single player on my roster underperformed except for Felix Hernandez, but I'm the manager. I'm responsible for that. Every time Richie Sexson strikes out, I strike out. Every time Jose Vidro as our DH is terrible because he's a terrible hitter and has no place on this team, it's like I'm a terrible hitter who has no place on this team. Every time Erik Bedard does anything, it's like I'm overrated. That's why this whole season falls on me."

Added McLaren, "Seriously, Jose, a .590 OPS? I think I'm a little better than that."

Even managers whose jobs are not in jeopardy have been victimized by this latest happening, with the clearest examples being Cleveland's Eric Wedge and Colorado's Clint Hurdle. In all, this is a frightening trend in baseball where managers can lose all their talent very quickly and the great team that a GM built suddenly falls apart because of that.

We only hope the Tigers recover from their slow start and start clicking, because we couldn't bear to see anything happen to Jim Leyland.

Humor

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comments (3) write a comment »

  1. It's really a shame how many managers just completely let their players fly out and drop balls and miss the cut off man and overrun the signs and swing out of the strike zone and pitch out of the strike zone and walk the lead off hitter.

    I mean, how is a team supposed to win like that?

  2. These managers were rightly fired, their teams were in the dumps.

  3. Good read...these teams were pretty bad.

    If these teams get back on track then getting rid of them was a good thing.

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