MAN OLYMPICS: The Ultimate in Sports Drinking

BigRegAnalyst IJune 20, 2008

I just finished reading David Wiley's article about drinking, sports, and toughness (Open Mic : Redefining the Toughness in Sports) in this great site called Bleacher Report and I felt the need to share one of my greatest accomplishments in life!


Now, first and foremost, I cannot take credit on my own.  This was planned over many nights of hard drinking with the guys.  I will take credit for the scheduling, hosting, and now passing on of this great event.

Here is how it works:

First - Get an even number of two person teams.  We used 16 because it makes for great single elimination tournaments.  I would recommend 4, 8, 16, 32, or 64 (If you decide to have a 64 team tournament please invite me).

Second - NO WOMEN ALLOWED!!  This is the most important aspect of the MAN Olympics.  This is a great time for you and  all your married buddies to spend a day together doing what guys to best (Getting wasted and trying to win a prize).

Third - Make two HUGE trophies (at least four ft. tall with gold, silver, and a champion/king on top).  These go to the winning team.  There is no prize for second place, as that is only considered the first loser. 

Note:  Go to the store in your town that makes all the little league trophies, they get a kick out of making it.  Also, have each man throw in ten dollars.  You should be able to make a suitable trophy w/ that money.

Fourth - Scoring for each event should be as follows:  First-ten points,  second-seven, third-five, fourth-three.  You should keep track on a big board, as this will let everyone know where they stand and who they can talk smack to.  Also, keep track after each event to make sure it is correct.

Fifth - Have a DD who is not involved.  Preferably a younger brother who can't drink yet.  Again, NO WOMEN!   

Now, on to the events...

First - Golf 

Drinking is a must at this event as it should start around 9 AM.  The best way to do this is by doing a team scrabble w/ strokes taken off for each beer drank.  This will keep the drinks flowing and give you a great start to the day.

Second - Pool   

This should be done as a single-elimination tournament at a bar.  This will ensure that anyone not playing will continue drinking. 

Also, any tournament style events should have the a championship game and a toliet bowl game (the two teams that did not make it to the championship game.)  So you can get first, second, third, and fourth

Third - Darts 

This can be done either at the bar or at someone's house, as long as they have a board.  Cricket is our game of choice, but you could play 301 or any other game you choose.  This is again done as a single-elimination tournament with each teammate alternating throws.  More drinking involved.

Fourth - Beer Pong/Beruit 

This is a great game to play because it is a sport that revolves around drinking.  We play a 16 cup game with two beers for each player.  Typically the house makes the rules and it is important to follow them. 

Fifth - Poker 

This is the culmination of the whole day.  For eight teams, two tables are needed combining when there are eight players.  We play hold 'em but you can play any type that you would like.  This must been done at the end so that everyone is good and juiced and may not make the best decisions. 

SCORING:  For eight teams, give a number to each place out. The winner would get 16 points and first out would get one point.  The winning team is the team with the highest score.

Awards ceremony!  This is a vital part of the Man Olympics. 

We are going on our third annual Olympics and have started a tradition of having the team that won it last year hand the new trophies to the winning team.  This is done while all the other teams crowd around and cheer/boo and look in awe of the beautiful trophies.  (Actually everyone is quite messed up at this time and only the teams that still had a chance to win really care). 

The winning team must prominently place their new trophy for all to see (so they can rub it in anyone who comes over that they are more of a man then them!) 

So, there you go, we are entering our third year and only do it one day out of the year.  It combines all that is good about being a man; drinking, sports, and competition.