A Guide To Patriot Hating; 2009 Edition
As December winds down, half the NFL teams are making a push for the playoffs, while the other half are content on playing spoilers for this year.
Like most other years, the New England Patriots attempt to make the adjustments necessary for a long playoff run. They found out in 2008 that nothing is guaranteed, but since none of the 32 teams prepares to miss the playoffs, they move forward to bigger and better things.
This is also the time of year when Patriot hating intensifies. Don't get me wrong, it's there all year, you can't be that successful and not be hated 24/7 by some. The closer the Pats get to the February dance, the more haters seem to jump on board. Can you blame them? Does anyone want to see the same team win 4 superbowls in one decade? Okay fine, hate away, it's your right as a football fan.
As you hate, please follow proper hating etiquette. I have placed some guidelines below for those not in the know.
"Tom Brady"; It seems who's quarterback is better than whom's arguments have been going on forever, some with more merits than others. Unless your teams quarterback is wearing 3 Superbowl rings or for this year, has thrown for more yards than Brady, you'll need to shut up. Welcome Colts and Saints fans.
"Coaching"; 3 rings, 4 superbowls, yadda, yadda, yadda, enough said. The Oregon Ducks secured a trip to the Rose Bowl against Oregon State with not one, but two 4th down conversions. It kept Oregon State's offense off the field, the Ducks ran out the clock and notched a 37-33 victory. Oregon's coach was praised for these decisions, of course he converted his attempts. I guess it's all how you look at it. If you want to discuss 4th and anything, hit the Ducks site, they'll talk all day long about it.
"Receivers"; Randy Moss has 68 catches for 1058 yards, 9TDs in 12 games, then he has a subpar game, 1 catch 16 yards and a fumble. If you are one of those people that feel Mr. Moss should be crucified for game 13 of the year - Shut up. God forbid he should have a second bad game, he'll be run out of the league. Anybody got a problem with Wes Welker? Didn't think so.
"Defense"; New England's defense is ranked 11th by yards and 7th by points, if you are fans one of the 21 or 25 lower teams respectively in the rankings - Shut up
"Cheating"; If you don't understand Spygate enough to make an intelligent, fact based comment - Shut up. If your team has ever used video (all 32 teams) - Shut up. If your team has be caught piping fake crowd noise into your stadium to gain an on field advantage(Colts) - Shut up. If your team accidently went over the salary cap by 29 million dollars due to an "accounting error" and gained an unfair advantage(Broncos) - Shut up.
In conclusion, I would like to say that I hope the above guidelines don't affect your hating too much. All other topics will be rated "on the spot" for validity.
Patriot fans thank you in advance for your co-operation and look forward to subsequent hate based articles
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