"Fedor Emelianenko Gets Nose Broken By Sams Club Employee..."

Kyle SteinerContributor IDecember 17, 2009

The problem with building up a fighter to mythological proportions, and then putting him in the ring/cage with a guy who, many people think, doesn't deserve to carry his spit bucket (much less fight him.) Is that if said opponent wins, your mythos is immediately shattered, and you become the butt of many jokes for years to follow. Fortunately, for Fedor Emelianenko, this did not occur in his recent bout against Brett Rogers; however, Fedor was taken to the very edge of defeat, and miraculously managed to score a TKO in the middle of the second round. Fedor was taken perhaps farther than a lot of people expected. I know I was certainly worried for the stoic Russian, as i watchd Rogers dribble his head off the canvas with a barrage of punches from Fedor's gaurd. I couldnt help but wonder "how the f-ck is Brett doing this to the worlds greatest mixed martial artist?"

Brett is no doubt a monster of a man. Anyone who tips the scales at over 265lbs, and is trained in martial arts, should be considered a serious threat to your life. But the hype that Fedor has recieved over the years, has given most fans the impression he could walk on water if there were only a championship belt handed out for doing so. So when Fedor sustained a broken nose off of a single jab from Rogers, like most fans I was shocked. This injury (incurred by the simple pawing from the human equivalent of a grizzly bear known as Brett Rogers) has put question marks in the heads of many MMA fans.

For the most part during the fight, Fedor was being controlled by Brett, Fedor managed to Judo toss Brett a couple times, but for the majority of the fight, Brett was putting the fight where he wanted it. Brett was also able to escape Fedor's patented armbar... the same armbar Fedor always goes for. Fedor is lightning fast with this move... but its a rather pedestrian technique, and seems to be his default response to being hit from the gaurd. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, unless you take into account that the move becomes extremely predictable, and that future opponents will have this move well scouted just as Brett did.

All of these flaws were exposed by nothing less than a former Sam's Club Employee... and this is the problem.

With Fedor Emelianenko not fighting in the UFC, he is forced to face opponents who, by most fans, are considered to be nobodys... this will not serve to help bolster Emelianenko's popularity here in the states. At the most it will only make your casual MMA fan go "ya he won... but I could have whooped that guys a$$... infact I did after work one night at some bar." StrikeForce can not show images of Fedor sitting in a throne covered in human skulls, wearing a mystical cloak made out of unicorn pelt, eating fruit from the tree of might, and then have him go out and get his nose broken by a guy who up until a week prior to the fight was changing tires for a living.

The post fight celebration by Fedor's entourage told the whole story... those ruskies were partying like they had just watched the Berlin wall come crashing down again. You would have thought that Lenin had suddenly risen from the dead, and was equiped with bottomless vodka bottles for hands. They were about as sweaty as Fedor was after that fight, their finger nails nawed down to a nubb, relieved to see their shiney hero unkilled by the American swine.

I guess the Moral of the story is... Stay the F-ck out of Sam's Club. Sammy's club employees are hairier than the Russian mob. No wonder you can buy a television set there for practically nothing, those TV's are hotter than a hooker named Svetlana. I hear tell Fedor's next opponent is going to be built out of employees from Mcdonalds, Bestbuy and the Olive Garden... this will surely be an epic confrontation.