Tiger Woods' Controversy May Help Publishing Industry Rebound (Satire)

According to editors and financial observers, the growing reports and speculation about Tiger Woods' alleged infidelities, which surfaced after the minor car accident he suffered outside his Florida home on Nov. 27, may help resuscitate the struggling newspaper and magazine industries.

"It may seem slightly inappropriate to say, but I really think that what happened that Friday was one of the most fateful car accidents ever for us," Janice Min, the editor-in-chief of US Weekly, said.

Her magazine, which first ran a testimony by San Diego waitress Jaimee Grubbs about her alleged affair with the golf superstar, has seen a recent tripling of subscriptions after struggling with readership and advertising throughout the current recession.

"It was certainly a welcome Thanksgiving treat for us," Min added. "He may have let his family down, but we've never been more appreciative for his decisions. I definitely know what I am thankful for this holiday season."

Along with a boom for publishers, there has been a significant spike in the number of aspiring journalists over the past two weeks since the accident.

"To have the opportunity to break an important piece of news so close to home like this, something that really affects and touches every one deeply...this is what the profession is all about," said a young intern for the Orlando Sentinel who was apparently moved by the incident to pursue a career in journalism.

He declined to give his name, instead strongly requesting that it be kept private.

In related news, while Woods himself has remained largely silent on the issue, he did tell reporters that former basketball player Charles Barkley had taken him out of his Fave Five for the golfer's alleged "terrrable terrrransgressions."