I hope you'll indulge me a little on this one. I have these arguments with my dad about twice a day via text messages. I couldn't help but think that if my dad and I were having them, there must be thousands of fathers and sons all around the country doing the same thing.
Being from Texas, the topic of sports, in general and football, in particular has always been the lead into the exploration of any number of deeper subjects in my parent’s living room.
These conversations have forged a relationship between my dad and I that may not have existed, otherwise. That's not to say that we wouldn't have had a relationship without them, but the range of emotions that are stirred during these debates have formed a bond between us that can only be duplicated on the field of battle. Football field, that is!
Let me give you a couple of "codes" that will help you decipher the language. I refuse to capitalize the "c" in cowboys, and I have also recently started referring to them simply as "cows." My dad, on the other hand, refers to the Saints as "aints," and yes, always uses lower case when referring to them.
December 3, 2009 3:08:59 PM
Me: 77% of SportsNation thinks the cows will collapse in December. They haven't had a winning record in December in 12 years.
Dad: 100% of SportsNation knows the aints have not played in a Super Bowl in 45 years!
Me: 100% of ME knows they'll win it this year!
Dad: I was wrong. I doubt the people that watch that show even know the aints have never won a division championship, let alone won a Super Bowl.
Me: I wonder how many know they've won a playoff game more recently than the cows. I wonder how old most of them were the last time the cows had a winning record in December?
Dad (After he spent a little research time at NFL.com): Two years ago they won two of four, but did not play starters the last game. That's all just BS. They should be talking about Romo being the winningest QB in history for his career as a starter. Wow!
Me: One year ago, they had to win a game to go to the playoffs and got BLOWN OUT! There are 100 QBs who have won more games in their career as a starter than Romo! He's also 5-10 in December, when it really counts. Wow!
Dad: Their record in December has never played a factor in them making the playoffs or not...except last year, and they were hurt bad! That’s how stupid all the talk is.
Me: That doesn't make any difference. It's a fact that they don't play well in December 12 years is a long time to be making up excuses for not winning down the stretch.
Dad: It is the best division in the league. The team that wins Dec. wins the NFC!
Me: That division has won ONE Super Bowl in that same time period. That doesn't say a lot for how great it is!
Dad: How many NFC Championships? Yea! How many does the aints division have?
Me: Two for the East in 12 years. One for the South.
Dad: You better check that.
Dad: How many games played in the championship game?
Me: Two for the East and two for the South. You're following that whole perception thing... Over the last 12 years, the East has not been that impressive.
Dad: Oh...yes it has. You doubt the East is the best? The Eagles played in the NFC Championship game six years in a row.
Me: Of’ Course I do. They have no teams in the top eight in the league and one team that's 3-8! You have lost your mind!
Me (After doing some research of my own): I'm sorry! The South has eight appearances in the last 12 years and the East has seven. Hahahahahahaha! The South has been to three Super Bowls and the East has been to three in the same time period. The South has the same number of wins and one more appearance in the NFC Championship. So over the last 12 years....the South is better!
Dad: Which division has the most regular season wins every year? I rest my case! EVERY YEAR!
Me: You can have that record ALL DAY, but I bet that's not even true over the last 12 years. That's just your perception. And oh by the way..... My Saints have the MOST wins this year....11, baby! Hahahahahahaha
Dad: They play the easiest schedule. Watch what happens to them in December!
Me: There's no such thing as "easy" this late in the year, in the NFL. The cows have beaten teams with 31 wins this year. My Saints have beaten teams with 48!
Dad: No they have not! Now, leave me alone so I can watch my movie. I'm done talking football for the whole year.
Me: I don't blame you. December is normally the time when the cows are done with football for the whole year, also!
I hope you laughed a few times. Feel free to comment about some of the conversations you've had with your own dad that resemble ours. Thanks.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!