Please, BCS Voters, Don't Put These Texas Longhorns in the National Championship

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Please, BCS Voters, Don't Put These Texas Longhorns in the National Championship
Jamie Squire/Getty Images

We've seen the conference championships play out. Alabama mopped up the floor with Florida. The Tide defense harassed Tebow, shut down the Gator running game, and forced turnovers, while the offense was nothing short of stellar.

Texas...well, Texas has a pretty good defense. Maybe one of the best. But in their two toughest games of the year, their offense has just wilted.

They have almost no running game; draws and the occasional sweep play do not a rushing attack make.

Their passing attack is, to be generous, one-and-a-half dimensional—Jordan Shipley makes up one of those dimensions and a combination of Malcolm Williams and the rest of the also-rans make up another half.

Their best player is probably their punter. Man, that kid sure can drop it inside the 20.

So, BCS voters, here's a last minute plea—Please don't put these Longhorns in the National Championship. They will get crushed, gobsmacked, meatballed.

Their defense is stiff, but it's no better than Florida's, and the Gators allowed nearly 500 yards and 32 points to an Alabama offense that hadn't produced at that level since the North Texas game in week three.

In fact, that's the most points Alabama put up on any SEC opponent since fielding 38 against Kentucky in week five, against what many considered to be the best defense not only in the conference, but in the country.

Meanwhile, the Tide defense ransacked Florida, allowing no second-half points (courtesy of two red zone turnovers, one on downs) to cap the victory and seal the SEC Championship.

If Texas faces Alabama, the UT offense will cave again. And unlike Nebraska, the Tide can score points. Greg McElroy was scary good. Mark Ingram was a red zone beast.

You thought Nebraska eked out some heroic yards with white running backs and Zac Lee scrambles? Try doing what McElroy did in the red zone, spinning and fighting for extra yards like his Gator doppelganger, who was a functional no-show for most of the night.

The Longhorns might score a field goal, if they have a good punt return and end up on the 33-yard line. After Alabama sacks McCoy twice, maybe they'll squeeze a long one through the uprights. They might get 100 yards including passes, rushes, punt returns, kickoff returns, and generous penalty yards combined.

They're a joke, a straw man. Sixteen points against Oklahoma, 13 against Nebraska—that's the "real Texas," against a real defense. Not the 42-point scoring machines you see facing the detritus of other Big 12 cupcakes. More like the three-interception ghosts-of-Longhorn-offenses-past that gasp their way to six points in the second half despite huge advantages in field position and time of possession.

That offensive line? They'll get eaten alive. Those wide receivers? Too young, too untested. That quarterback? Yeah, he'll win the Heisman, but it'll be because the voters feel guilty about last year.

They actually lost this game, by my count. The ref blew his whistle as time was expiring. Time is kept on the field, not in the replay booth.

Their win is a farce, and the voters need to treat it that way.

I know, I know, so who do we put in instead? I'm not a Cincy fan—Alabama would run wild on that undersized defense—but I've been a shill for TCU for most of the year, and I still maintain they win the head to head. They're the only team that's as balanced as Alabama and has dominated at or above the level of Texas.

Or, I don't know, Oregon? I know, they're already headed to the Rose Bowl, but they're a great two loss team with a fearsome offense that can test the Tide and an above average defense.

Any way you decide the championship game, BCS voters, is fine, as long as it doesn't include these Longhorns. Not for sympathy, not to resurrect 2008's ills, not because Mack Brown puts on a dazzling PR campaign blitz in the next 24 hours (and he will, God knows).

And certainly not because they're undefeated. In my mind, they're 11-2, with an ugly loss to Oklahoma after McCoy's late interception to Brian Jackson was returned for a touchdown, and another loss to Nebraska in the Big 12 Championship when the Longhorns ran out the clock on a long pass play and did not receive a one-second gift from the refs.

If you put them in, it will be the nastiest, ugliest, most unwatchable pile of steamrolled crap-sandwich BCS game since the Florida-Ohio State game in 2007.

It will definitely be worse than putting TCU in and giving them a chance to prove the BCS system elitist.

Because there's something worse than being elitist, and that's being completely illegitimate.

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