Tiger Woods Scandal Sounds Like a Bad Joke

Richard ZowieCorrespondent IDecember 3, 2009

PALO ALTO, CA - NOVEMBER 21:  Honorary Standford Cardinal captain Tiger Woods holds his daugher, Sam, and stands next to his wife, Elin Nordegren, on the sidelines before the Cardinal game against the California Bears at Stanford Stadium on November 21, 2009 in Palo Alto, California.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

I wonder if any stand-up comedians have tried this joke:

"Hey, did you hear about the man who has a red-hot Swedish wife and STILL cheats on her? No! Wait! That's no joke! That's what Tiger Woods did!"

Woods has come clean and announced "transgressions" he committed against his wife, Elin Nordegren, and how he's let down their two kids.

Of course, Woods isn't the first seemingly squeaky-clean person to do such a thing. Steve Garvey, long thought to be Mr. Clean and someone comedian Don Rickles once quipped "He's so goody, he goes behind the barn to chew gum", was later revealed to have multiple affairs and even a few kids out of wedlock. In the Bible, King David of Israel not only committed adultery, but he committed murder in a desperate attempt to cover it up.

Then there have been the televangelists, but it's not really fair to delve there since Woods doesn't get on TV and constantly whine about needing listeners to send in money while he lives in hyper-luxury and while his dogs have air-conditioned doghouses.

I don't pretend to know what goes on inside Woods' mind. I know he's a great golfer who prefers to keep a very low profile about his personal life and even his opinions on many topics. But I do know this: If he indeed handles this problem "in-house" and keeps his mouth quiet with the media, this "scandal" will soon become yesterday's news.

Does anyone remember Wade Boggs and his infamous Margo Adams scandal? One teammate of Boggs told Sports Illustrated that Boggs' insistence of constantly talking to the media kept fueling things. He suggested Boggs shut up about it.

Woods seems intent on the same thing, and it's possible that in a few months time it'll be simply a scar on his reputation that will only occasionally come up.

Will Woods lose endorsements? It really will boil down to his ability to make his sponsors money. As long as he plays great golf and remains marketable, then he won't. Yes, Kobe Bryant lost endorsements for a while, but none of these women have accused Woods of non-consensual sex.

That being said, be careful, Tiger. You have a life many men dream about: lots of money, a beautiful wife, children and you get paid to play a sport you love. You may not realize how great you have it until it's gone.