Humor: What Lies Ahead For The New York Rangers

Metro HockeyCorrespondent IDecember 2, 2009

Today, the Rangers made some noise with three separate transactions. First, they waived Steve Valiquette, then they claimed center Erik Christensen, and finally, recalled rookie goaltender Chad Johnson. What is listed below is a semi day-by-day breakdown of what lies ahead this season for the New York Rangers.

December 4: The Toronto Maple Leafs claim Steve Valiquette off of waivers with the intention to only play him at home if its a Saturday night with his parents in attendance, or on the road in Philadelphia.

December 5: The savior, Chad Johnson, makes his NHL debut for the Rangers. He gives up eight goals in a 10-3 rout. Fans chalk it up to a coincidental bad first outing.

December 6: Henrik Lundqvist gives up four goals again, against the Red Wings but Marian Gaborik's five goal night propels the Rangers to a 5-4 victory.

January 19: The Rangers send down Artem Anisimov. Enver Lisin files an injunction against Glen Sather.

January 25: Rangers fans hate Chad Johnson

January 31: The Rangers sign Jason Krog to center the first line. He plays two shifts before being benched because the line did not score a goal in the forty-five seconds of ice time they were given.

February 1: Rangers release Jason Krog.

February 10: John Tortorella hospitalized due to a burst blood vessel in his forehead. Paramedics did not know what to do because he was speaking gibberish and they thought he was having a stroke. Turns out he was just saying "safe is death" in Italian.

February 14: Marian Gaborik scores his sixty-fifth goal of the season off Vaclav Prospal's forty-eighth assist.

February 15: The Olympic break begins. Henrik Lundqvist records six shutouts and leads his team to a gold medal.

March 2: Chris Higgins scores his third goal of the season.

March 3: Rangers make a deadline deal with Phoenix.

March 4: Eklund blogs that the Rangers are close to trading for Ilya Kovalchuk even though the deadline passed the day earlier.

March 16: Sam Rosen mispronounces Brian Boyle's last name.

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