Thanks Wes. I really appreciate it.
I go up in flames with the Lions, Rams, Bengals, and Patriots and you have the audacity to lie there exposing yourself to me?
It’s okay little man, I’m gonna bounce back this week because I promise to never put well-earned money on terrible teams.
What’s that you say Wes? Oh, right.
I shouldn’t bet against God-awful teams either. That whole idea of laying 14.5 points to the Browns kind of blew up in my face too.
Well if I can’t bet on or against dreadful squads then who in the hell am I going to bet on? It seems like every week there are awful teams either competing against each other or they are playing against a team in the midst of jockeying for playoff positioning.
This week is no different. Out of the 16 pieces of slop forced down our throat, only four games offer us the opportunity to watch two teams at or above .500 compete against one another.
So while Wes crams his head into his backside as if he were the world’s greatest contortionist, I am left to think that my dog is wiser than I am.
Stick to gambling on the good teams.
Not so much. The Saints vs. Pats pick didn’t go very well.
My theories are up in flames, stats are flushed down the toilet, and all logic is out the window. This is going to be an epic end to the season. I am either going to be great fade material or I am going to start ripping off huge winning streaks.
Following a 2-5 week my record drops to 35-35.
Wes, if you have any better ideas please clue me in.
Denver (-4.5) @ Kansas City
The Chiefs stink and should be required by law to lay at least double digits against every team they play from here on out.
The public is all over the Broncos early, but I don’t care. I’m going down guns a blazin'.
Show me a terrible pass defense and I will show you a perfect opportunity for Kyle Orton to look like a bona fide NFL quarterback.
Denver 30 – Kansas City 17
Pittsburgh (-13) vs. Oakland
Didn’t the Raiders come out the East Coast earlier this year?
Yeah, how did that go?
The New York Giants thought it was like playing in a scrimmage. I don’t care if Bubby Brister suits up for this one and hands the ball off to Merril Hoge. The Steelers are going to beat this slop-infested team.
And if any of the dogs on the Raiders are having problems with fleas, Wes has some outstanding techniques to show you.
Pittsburgh 31 – Oakland 6
Jacksonville (pick ‘em) vs. Houston
The Texans had a golden opportunity to beat the Colts for only the second time in 16 games.
Even more importantly, they had a chance to become a legitimate threat in the AFC playoff picture and hand the Colts their first loss of the season.
But no. They choked.
The Jaguars won on the road earlier this year against a Houston team that has no heart whatsoever. I don’t expect the tin-men to find one this week.
Jaguars 26 - Texans 19
Atlanta (+5.5) vs. Philadelphia
Who are the Eagles to lay points on the road against anyone?
They laid points on the road to the Bears and the only reason they covered was because Jay Cutler thought it would be a good idea to win the “I’m the worst offseason acquisition” award.
The Birds lost on the road to Raiders and, until they prove their worth on the road, I will gladly take the points with the Falcons.
And yes I know about the status of Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. I could care less if Chris Miller was handing it off to Mike Rozier
What’s up with the references to the Tecmo Super Bowl era?
Philadelphia 23 – Atlanta 21
Washington (+9) vs. New Orleans
The Saints are for real and they established themselves as the best team in the NFC, but that doesn’t mean they can’t come out flat in this spot.
After a highly emotional win and a short week of rest the Saints are set up for a huge let down.
I would not be surprised if they find themselves down late in this game.
Even if they somehow lose they are still the team to beat in the NFC.
New Orleans 24 – Washington 17
Dallas (-2.5) @ New York Giants
Is it December? Check.
Is Tony Romo playing in a meaningful game? Check.
Glad we established that because even those two factors can’t help out this Giants team that is dead.
Dallas 27 – New York Giants 16