Hello all Manulators. Welcome to Monday Night Raw, the Manual. Sorry for our little break, me and my partner AG have been looking for an ECW writer. If you want to, contact both of us.
At Bragging Rights two weeks ago, the split of Jerishow caused some heat on both shows. Jericho went back to SD! to become the #2 contender for the World Title, while Show is taking his time and squashing all who stand before him.
Let's get started.
(Fireworks go off as King and Cole bring us in)
King: Hello everybody. Welcome to Monday Night Raw!
COle: Ah, tonight is full of action King. We've got the Naturals making their WWE debut taking on one of the many tag teams here.
King: That's right. Also, we've got Kofi Kingston taking on Randy Orton and John Cena going toe-to-toe with Jack Swagger. Right now the Jamaican Buzzsaw has an announcement to make. Take us back Todd.
Todd is standing with Kofi.
Todd: Thanks King. Kofi Kingston, you have risen very fast over the past few months here. Becoming one of the greatest US Champs we've seen in a while, and then challenging for the WWE Championship against Jack Swagger. Are you ready for possibly the biggest challenge of your life?
Kofi: Yes Todd. I've risen quit quickly. I've already beaten Swagger many times, and that was for the title I was defending. Swagger has lost to me over and over, he has no chance of defeating me. Now, tonight, I get to soften up my new friend's opponent for Survivor Series, and he gets to pulverize Swagger for cheating him out of the title.
Todd: You sound pretty confident Kofi. Are you sure your up to the challenge?
Kofi: Up to the challenge? Are they up for the challenge? That's what you should be asking. Because tonight, Orton's gonna be calling for an SOS and at Survivor Series, Swagger will be getting a little Trouble... In... Paradise!
Big Show vs Chavo Guerrerro: Squash match
Chavo comes down to the ring first, followed by the giant. They both get in, and the match begins. Show goes to hit Guerrerro with a punch, but he ducks and takes out the big man's legs. He then springboards off with a moonsault. 1.. Show throws him off and his head hits the turnbuckle. Show looks around and signals for the Right Hook, but Chavo ducks again. He hits a standing dropkick on Show.
Show stumbles back. Chavo does it again. The big man is almost off his feet. Chavo goes for another one, but Show side steps and catches Chavo. He puts him in a powerful bear hug. He squeezes with all his might. When he senses Chavo about to tap, he drops him. He picks up Chavo and hits him with a right hook. Then he picks him back up, carries him up to the top rope.
King: Oh my God! Is Big Show gonna do a diving move?
Show dissapoints King, because he chokeslams Chavo from the top all the way to the middle of the ring. He gets down and covers the mangled, broken body of the Warrior. 1..2..3.
Show stands and the crowd screams for the new Righteous Giant.
The Naturals make an announcement:
The Naturals come down to the music "Bittersweet" by Fuel. They get booed, but honestly, I really don't think they care.
Andy: Ah, Chase, listen to that crowd! They love us!
Chase: Yes, it's because we're Naturally what they want as future tag team champs.
Andy: Well, tonight we go face to face with some team here on Raw, but honestly, it doesn't matter who they are. Because we are the Naturals, and you cant prevent destiny.
Santino Marella and Chris Masters come out. They both make the "Masters" Pose, Santino's obviously a bit more cartoonic.
Naturals vs Masters and Santino
Andy starts off with Santino. Andy pushes Santino into a corner and chokes him for a while. He lets go at the count of four. Andy hits Santino with elbows and punches, then tosses him to the middle of the ring. Andy stomps on Santino's gut, and puts him in a headlock. Santino fights and is able to stand up, pushing Douglas into the ropes. Douglas runs into Santino, buthe arm drags Andy and puts him in an armbar. He's putting a lot of pressure on it.
Andy breaks out, but Santino dropkicks Andy's legs. He tags in Masters. Masters gets in and drops Douglas on his neck with a backdrop-suplex. 1..2.. Douglas kicks out. Masters picks him up and throws him into the ropes. When he comes back he delivers a nasty flying dropkick. Masters gets knocked into the ropes, tangled up. Douglas tags in Stevens. When Masters gets out, Stevens arm drags him. Again and again he tosses Masters over, until the Masterpiece reverses into a Belly-to-Belly suplex. 1..2..Stevens kicks out.
Masters tags Santino. Santino goes up top. He taunts for what seems like forever. As Stevens gets up, Santino brings out the "Cobra" and jumps off the top. Stevens ducks and kicks Santino right in the jaw. Santino falls into the corner of the Naturals. Chase tags Andy and they set up for the Natural Disaster, but Masters runs in. They drop Santino, and toss Masters outside.
The Naturals set up Santino again and hit Candido's Way! 1..2..3! The Naturals pick up an easy win against Masters and Chavo.
Andy: Did that look easy? Well, it should have, because we're naturals!
King: Wow, the Naturals looking great in their first WWE match. What was that destructive tag team maneuver they used?
Cole: Well, you'd have to ask Andy or Chase, but I was talking to them backstage and they said it's called the Natural Disaster.
King: Wow that's amazing Cole! Superstars want to talk to you?
Cole: Very funny King. Next up is a Triple Threat to determine the #1 contender for the US Title.
Triple Threat: Evan Bourne vs. Ted Dibiase vs. Sheamus
King: Tonight, we have a debuting Irishman as Sheamus makes his Raw debut match, and already he's in the hunt for WWE Gold!
Sheamus comes down first, followed by one half of Legacy, Ted Dibiase. Teddy is accompanied by Cody Rhodes. Last is the former #1 contender Evan Bourne, who has a knee brace on. As Evan enters the ring, he feels that his chances are lower than Sheamus's or Teddy's. The match begins with a quick boot to the face of Ted Dibiase Jr. from Sheamus. Ted falls over, limp, and lands out the ring. Sheamus turns his attention to Evan.
Evan ducks a cross body splash from Sheamus, who hits the turnbuckle. Evan hits a reverse snap Hurricanrana on Sheamus. He goes to cover but the Irishman quickly gets back to his feet. Evan runs into Sheamus, who in retaliation clothesline's Evan almost decapitating him. Evan looks unconcious as Sheamus goes to cover, but Ted jumps back in and breaks up the pin.
Sheamus stares down Dibiase and goes for another boot, but Dibiase dodges. Sheamus turns around and Dibiase is hitting Sheamus with hard shots to the chest and face. He has Sheamus in the corner and looks at Evan, who is just getting up. He looks over and nods, and Evan runs at the big guy, hitting a high speed dropkick, followed by a running knee from Dibiase. Sheamus drops to his knees. Evan sits on the turnbuckle and hits a rolling neckbreaker.
Ted covers, but Evan pulls him off. Evan and Dibiase argue, until Sheamus gets up again and way-lays the Priceless Dibiase with a hellacious lariat! He picks him back up and hits the Irish Curse. Evan kicks Sheamus right in the throat, causing him to cough uncontrollably and fall out the ring. Evan gets up top and hits the Air Bourne. 1..2..3! Evan is again the #1 contender.
I Can't Win comes on as we wait for Charlie Haas.
King: Where's Haas at?
Cole: I'm not sure, but if I were Evan I'd watch out for my legs. It seems Charlie has been targetting Evan for weeks.
Charlie Haas's voice comes on.
Haas: Evan, "Air" Bourne. Bourne to fly. Well, it seems that our next meeting I'll have to cancel your flight. PERMANENTLY! I'm going to make sure, not only that I beat you, but that you NEVER walk AGAIN!
Haas comes in from the crowd and tries to take out Evan's leg, but he sees him in time and jumps. Haas goes right into the corner and hits his shoulder. He gets back up and Evan kicks him in the kidneys. He falls over and Evan puts him in a submisssion of his own, which looks sort of like an intense armbar, using his legs to choke Haas. Haas is taping but Evan won't let go.
King: What the Hell is that?
Cole: Looks like Bourne wants to fight fire with fire. That's an intense submission move.
Evan lets go and takes the US Title.
Cryme Tyme are in the lockerroom
JTG: Yeah Yeah that money money yeah yeah!
Shad: Haha, man. Look at this Jay. You ever think we'd ever be holding Main Event Gold?
JTG: Yeah man, just... I didn't think we'd win it. Just thought we'd take it.
Shad: Yeah. Man this is too good.
John Cena comes in.
Cena: Boys, how's life back on Raw?
JTG, Shad and Cena reunite with some crazy "ghetto handshakes" as King would call it. Cena looks like he has an idea.
Cena: Shad, Jay, I've got an idea. Last year the three of us took on a lot of people. We were the... what was it? The CTC?
Shad: Yeah dawg. Dat Cryme Tyme Cenation!
Cena: Yeah man, well, you two have a problem with the Regulars right?
JTG: I think dey called tha Naturals Jay-C.
Cena: Yeah Yeah, the Naturals. Well, I've got my hands full to with Orton. Since we were such a great team in the past, why don't we do it again?
Franchise comes in the lockerroom.
Franchise: Cena, are you telling me that tonight you want me to change all of our main events? I'd have to replace Orton vs Kingston and you vs Swagger! I'd have to put the Naturals in another match. I can't do that.
Cena: Come on Shane, honestly, your telling me you can't do that?
Franchise: No Cena I can't! There's too much already set. But, if you win tonight against Swagger, then next week I'll put the three of you against Orton and the Naturals, although I'm sure Legacy will have a problem with that.
JTG: Mayne it don't matter bout dem Shane. Dey ain't even that important 'round here lately. Their last rivalry was with D-X about a month ago, since then they can't do nothin. If they got a problem wit it, me and Shad'll... uh...handle it.
Franchise: Okay, that's the deal boys. Take it or leave it.
Shad looks at both JTG and Cena, who nod. He shakes Shane's hand and the Franchise walks out.
Shad: Man, he's gonna be really pissed when he finds out he lost his watch.
Shad holds up a diamond studded watch.
D-X comes out to the ring
They both come down with the natural D-X entrance, the whole crowd on their feet.
HBK: Ah, Hunter. The WWE, Monday Night Raw! The brand we continue to dominate over and over again. What haven't we done?
HHH: I don't know Shawny. I mean, as a tag team, we've done it all. I mean, last year (On my first Run of the Manual) we won the World Tag Team Championships. We've dominated every real force to walk through this company.
HBK: I don't know Hunter. I mean, what's left? What else can we do...
HHH kicks Shawn in the gut and hits the Pedigree!!! He looks down on Michaels with a blank stare. He leaves the ring as Shawn is lying motionless on the ring mat.
King: Oh my God! What was that?
Cole: I... I don't know King. Triple H, the Game, just betrayed his longtime partner and best friend...
King: Someone has to try to get to the bottom of this. Todd! Get back there and find out!
Todd is just catching up with the Game.
Todd: Triple H, what was your reasoning for taking out your friend?
HHH: Todd, Shawny and I both agree that there's nothing left for us as a team. I mean, as a team, we've won the tag titles. We've beaten everyone out there to beat, past and present. Look, me and Shawn are always gonna be friends. No matter what, I just think it's time to end this. We were beating a dead horse. We were just...
HHH gets his head kicked off by Shawn Michaels!
HBK: You went about it all wrong Hunter. All wrong. You just brought back the man who's been a World champion, who's been in some of the most devastating matches of all time! Mr. Wrestlemania is back! And you can't get rid of me.
John Cena vs. Jack Swagger
Cena's already in the ring when Swagger comes down. The WWE Champion is getting the crowd pumped, oddly enough. He's got the giant smile on and starts slapping the hands of the crowd.
King: I just... I just can't believe what we just witnessed. I mean, that wasn't just the end of D-X, but... it was also possibly the end of a long, close friendship.
Swagger gets into the ring and the match begins. Cena goes for a quick underarm takedown, but Swagger reverses into a chicken wing roll up. 1.. Cena kicks out. Cena runs at Swagger but he trips Cena and puts him in a half nelson choke. Cena quickly breaks out. Cena gets up and clotheslines Swagger. He tosses Swagger into the corner.
He climbs the All American-American and hits the punches. 1..2..3..4..5..Swagger powerbombs Cena! 1..2..Cena grabs the ropes. Cena rolls out. Swagger follows and Cena punches him right on the nose. Cena throws him in the ring. He follows. Cena picks up Swagger and suplexes him. 1..2..Swagger kicks out. Cena does it again. He puts Swagger in a headlock. Swagger grabs the ropes after a long fight.
Cena looks around the crowd. He looks back at Swagger, who is now standing up. Swagger throws a right. Cena throws a right. They trade blows until Cena catches one and hits his modified arm drag. He follows with a protoplex, then sets up the 5-Knuckle Shuffle. He goes to do it, but Orton is standing at the top of the ramp. Cena stares at him. He turns around. Swagger tries to hit a Swagger Bomb, but Cena reverses into an F-U. He then puts him in the STFU and Swagger taps!
Cena gets up slowly and stares down Orton. Orton's match is next.
Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
Orton is in the ring first as he waits for his opponent. Kofi comes down to the ring with extreme energy only he can give off. He goes to get inside, but Swagger comes out of nowhere and hits him from behind. He Swagger Bomb's him on the concrete, then tosses him into the ring. Orton punts Kofi. The match begins and Orton pins. 1..2..3! Orton and Swagger stole one from the Jamaican Buzzsaw!
Orton and Swagger raise their hands and stomp out Kofi, until Cena comes back down. He clears the ring as the show ends.
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