As the Lakers barely squeezed out a victory over the Celtics on Sunday, the highly anticipated series between the old rivals, LA versus Boston, has failed to live up to its hype, as Boston has clearly been the superior team.
It was naïve to expect this series to live up the storied battles of the past; especially because the emotional feud doesn’t exist today as it did in the previous Celtics-Lakers battles.
For a neutral fan, this series is sorely missing one main ingredient: a villain.
The villain is the guy who transforms a series from an exciting contest to an emotional war. Instead of just a basketball game, it becomes a battle of attrition, masculinity and pure emotion.
The Lakers-Celtics rivalry 80’s was so great, because after McHale clotheslined Rambis in ‘84, all the formalities were thrown out the window and the rest is history.
Imagine if the Lakers still had big shot or cheap shot Bob as some call him, one of the few remaining villains of our time. How much would the series have turned after Bob inadvertently hip checked Rajon Rondo right into Paul Pierce’s bad knee when the Celtics were making their epic comeback in Game Four?
KG plays like a crazed maniac using passion from within; imagine if you actually gave him a reason to be angry. Pau Gasol would be trying to cry his way back to Memphis instead of simply crying to the refs.
So in honor of a dying and forgotten breed in the NBA, one-by-one, I will unveil a starting five of the greatest NBA Villains.
There are two conditions that must be met to earn a spot on the All-Villain team.
1) The player cannot be a superstar, because superstars are naturally hated because of their skills, not because of their actions. As much as it killed me to not put Karl Malone on this list, I had to realize my dislike mainly stems from his skills, more than the fact that he was a big turd.
- B/R Ticket Guide
2) The player has to have some actual basketball value for his team other than just coming off the bench so he can land a hay-maker on an opposing player. A.K.A, no cheerleaders like the immortally useless Mark Madsen.
P.S: You earn bonus points if you played a part in David Stern’s Michael Corleone like transformation from a nice commissioner to the iron-fist dictator he is now.
C: Bill Laimbeer, Detroit Pistons
This “Bad Boy” Piston was the epitome of the 80’s Pistons style of play. He probably has the NBA record for most punches thrown at because he dished out flagrant fouls that even the NBA refs couldn’t miss.
If the NBA paralled wrestling, he would be the ultimate heel, a reason why his nicknames included "The Prince of Darkness," "Street Thug," and the "Ax Murderer."
Notable incidents include starting a fight with Larry Bird in Game Three of the ’87 Conference Finals that got him and the Celtics best player (Bird) ejected from the game. As a result, the game ended in a Piston’s rout, as the Celtics obviously missed Bird more than the Pistons did Laimbeer.
Bill wasn’t finished, he antagonized the “Chief” Robert Parish so much that the usually reserved center, clocked Laimbeer in the face in Game Five, earning Parish a one-game suspension for Game Six, which not surprisingly the Pistons also won.
He also started the original fan-player brawl in Detroit, when he faced-off with Charles Barkley and the fight ended with Barkley going after a Pistons fan.
He was also the main instigator of the Jordan Rules, developed by the Pistons, which involved hacking MJ relentlessly so he would physically break down by the end of the game. He was hated so much in Chicago, that the Bulls mascot, Benny the Bull, even staged a fight with a Laimbeer doll.
Laimbeer was also the evolutionary origin of the NBA flopper, a legacy that is carried on in a much sissier fashion by today’s players. Sure Laimbeer fell after being fouled, but he also fell after being punched in the face, and would never back down in a fight.
Now the European infusion of the NBA game has infected the floppers too, who fall down when grazed by an opposing player’s jersey. They also talk a lot of trash, but run away when being punched…ala Carmelo Anthony.
Laimbeer wasn’t just a tough guy, he was an excellent shooter for a big man. Laimbeer had the ability to shoot threes, an uncommon ability for a center, and was an excellent rebounder, leading the league in defensive rebounds from 1982-1990.
Laimbeer excelled in the pick and roll game with Isiah Thomas, as his shooting forced defenders to come outside, opening up the lane for Isiah.
Laimbeer was a four-time All-Star, is the Pistons career leader in rebounds, and was highly durable for a big man. In fact his streak of 685 consecutive games played only ended because he was suspended after a fight with Brad Daugherty.
He also was criticized by the Beastie Boys in the song "Tough Guy", and everyone knows that if the Beastie Boys call you out in a song, you truly are a villain.
But nothing signifies Laimbeer’s legacy as a villain, as the SNES game that bore his name, Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball.
Its plot revolved around the NBA in 2030 with none other than Laimbeer as the commissioner. Commissioner Laimbeer got rid of the referees so fouls didn’t exist, players wore armor, and you could throw bombs onto the court.
Stern Connection: Stern probably shuddered at the thought of Laimbeer becoming commissioner and he is furiously working on a cryogenic time chamber that will keep him alive for the next 100 years and extend his rule over the NBA Empire.
Next: PF, Dennis Rodman
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5 months ago
You're right, the game needs more villians! As a Detroit fan, Laimbeer of course is one of my favorite players of all-time, and his ability to get into the heads of even the most unflappable players was legendary. As you pointed out, beyond his rough and tumble play, he was a very skilled big man, and did all the little things to help ensure victory, including playing great position D-fense. Like him or not, he was a very unique player, and someone who you would have to seriously consider if you were to put an all-time team together.
from 5 months ago
Thanks Daniel...ya, its a shame the NBA is going the way of the NFL..aka the No Fun League...its preventing the development of classic villains and highly charged playoff battles.
5 months ago
excellent work and some nice humor in there. also a pretty good and surprisingly balanced view of a guy who made a lot of team's most-hated list. Many Blazer fans still think his...well, bias is bias...cheap shots, flopping and head games were the difference between 2 or 3 Blazer championships and the 1-2 Finals record they still have largely because he turned Kevin Duckworth from All-Star into a guy who would struggle to get off the bench in a j-v game.
To all of us outside of Detroit he was exactly what you described...a dirty cheap shot artist who somehow came up with that key rebound/strip/jump shot at just the right time.
from 5 months ago
Thanks Drew..i myself was also surprised by how balanced it turned out considering I'm a Bulls fan, and I loathed the Bad boy pistons. But villains are the guys who u luv when they're on ur team, and hate when their not. Also, I wanted to be consistent since I knew I was going to lavish praise on one of my all-time favorites, the Worm, Dennis Rodman.
5 months ago
Great article. I feel like watching some of his old games.
from 5 months ago
Thanks, and I recommend watching the Bulls-Pistons series from the late 80's..those are classics.
5 months ago
I remember the time Bill Laimbeer's face fouled Robert Parrish's fist. That was terrible. Awful cheap shot. Laimbeer should have been thrown out of the league.
from 5 months ago
Are you surprised that an NBA ref blew a obvious call like that? Haha..
5 months ago
I don't see Laimbeer as a villain at all. He was an excellent player at Notre Dame, the Irish riding him to the Final 4 in 1978. He had command of spacing in the lane, possesed a good outside shot, and knew how to receive a pass into the post. When he played for the Pistons he was often overmatched heightwise against the likes of Jabbar, Parish, Big Bill Cartwright, Wayne "Tree" Rollins, and others but he used excellent footwork to demand respect defensively and offensively. Laimbeer was an outstanding rebounder, especially good shooter, and all around tough player. Rather than suggest Laimbeer was a vilain I see him as a man who took up for himself and teammates. He didn't start it, but he would often finish it.
A true villain in the post during Laimbeer's era was the massive Jeff Ruland. Ruland used guile and power to destroy opponents in those unseen momemts under the rim. He teamed with Rick Mahorn for 4 years to form the BeefBrothers for the Bullets and nobody went into that lane with their eyes closed when those two dominated the paint. Although a massive power player, the giant Ruland was extremely talented and has the stats to prove it. Later Mahron was traded to the Pistons where he joined Laimbeer. Compared to the BeefBrothers, the Pistons were a fireside chat.
from 5 months ago
We'll have to agree to disagree babytate..cuz when you're ranked the dirtiest player of all-time(in SI)m, and u have a name like the ax murderer..ur def on top of the list...Ruland was talented, but if you ask a majority of the country who a bigger villain is, they'll say laimbeer, and this is a subjective topic
5 months ago
The fight with Charles Barkley was classic. The 76ers had Barkley and Rick Mahorn (Thump and Bump) and the Pistons had Dennis Rodman and Bill Laimbeer. Could've been a South Philly Street fight.
5 months ago
Don't confuse what the majority says and what is correct, look who put Bush in.
from 5 months ago
Touche
5 months ago
The Bulls-Pistons rivalry...those were great times. Bill Laimbeer was always so eager to introduce Jordan to new friends such as his fist, the floorboard, his elbow...And people say the defense is tougher now >.<
5 months ago
"Notable incidents include starting a fight with Larry Bird in Game Three of the ’87 Conference Finals that got him and the Celtics best player (Bird) ejected from the game. As a result, the game ended in a Piston’s rout, as the Celtics obviously missed Bird more than the Pistons did Laimbeer."
The game was already a rout when the ejection happened.
5 months ago
"Notable incidents include starting a fight with Larry Bird in Game Three of the ’87 Conference Finals that got him and the Celtics best player (Bird) ejected from the game. As a result, the game ended in a Piston’s rout, as the Celtics obviously missed Bird more than the Pistons did Laimbeer."
The game was already a rout when the ejection happened.
from 5 months ago
Sorry for the double post.
5 months ago
Laimbeer was arguably the second most important player on those teams. Its esay for a casual fan to say it was Dumars. But Laimbeer was the co-captain and certainly the second most dominating presence on the Team. + dont forget Laimbeer was the teams defensive ancor and team leading rebounder.
And also lets not forget that the teams offensive scheme centered around Laimbeer setting the picks for the guards. He truly was a unique, and quite talented player. One of the games greats for sure.
5 months ago
I'm excited for the rest of this list. There are so many villains out there, I don't know how you were able to choose just five.
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