Fernando & Stefano: Pit to Car Radio Chat

Kunal ShahContributor INovember 24, 2009

ISTANBUL, TURKEY - AUGUST 21:  Ferrari technicians view the action from the pit wall during the Turkish Formula One Grand Prix at Istanbul Park on August 21, 2005 in Istanbul, Turkey.  (Photo by Getty Images)
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I am an absolute Ferrari fan. While I do agree that Fernando was their best bet - after Kimi - I am still somehow not prepared to see Fernando in a Ferrari. He's a good driver, but never a 'team player'. Here's a short animated version of a pit-to-car radio chat with the Ferrari pit wall and Fernando.

 

"Fernando: I am suffering from understeer – I am suffering from understeer

Stefano: It’s to do with the front tyres – you are using them a little too much. Preserve them.

Fernando: Preserve tyres? Eh! What? Are you sure you guys put the right pressures in the front tyres?

Stefano: Yes!

Fernando: Are you sure you guys dialed the correct front wing angles?

Stefano: Yes!

Fernando: Okay, I am unable to drive. I am loosing pace to Felipe [who is leading] at over a second a lap!

Stefano: That is because he’s driving faster!

Fernando: Does he have understeer too?

Stefano: No! No complains yet!

Fernando: Which means you guys filled the correct tyre pressures for him.

Stefano: Same compounds, same pressures, Fernando

Fernando: No, I am sure. Else I would have been faster.

Stefano: Then please show your true pace

Fernando: I am trying – but there is too much understeer

Stefano: We here you Fernando, we will dial in more angle in the next pit stop

Fernando: Talking of pit stops, is he lighter than me? Is he on a better strategy?

Stefano: No Fernando, this year there’s no refueling – so it’s the same fuel levels

Fernando: That’s just not possible. I am sure there’s a Brazilian in the team who wants Felipe to win. I am sure. It happened to me in Renault and then also in Mclaren. Felipe is your favourite. I know that.

Stefano: Fernando, the pit radio is being telecasted LIVE on global TV

Fernando:  It doesn’t matter. I am the twin World Champion. I am the one who beat your own Schumacher. So you give me all the support – not Felipe. Okay?

Stefano: Just drive Fernando; we’ll sort things out later

Fernando: Drive? Do you even know how it feels to drive with so much understeer? I am complaining to Luca tonight! You guys are biased…

Stefano: First finish the race and I will call Luca myself – [hears a heavy braking sound –CRASH CRASH BANG THUD CRASH]

Fernando: I have crashed, I have crashed, I have crashed. Call rescue. Call Medical. I have crashed!

Stefano: Are you alright Fernando?

Fernando: I have crashed, I have crashed, I think I am okay. Is Felipe still leading?

Stefano: Yes, very much – leading

Fernando: What! Why did he not crash?

Stefano: Come back to the pits Fernando – we’ll have a chat

Fernando: I am okhay –you guys are to blame. The car just refused to turn. The understeer caused the crash. I know I didn’t loose control. Stefano I need a better car next race. I need the new wing. I need more support from you Italians. I need you to ask the Brazilian mechanic to leave. I also need Felipe to crash next race – ask Nelsinho to speak to him!

Stefano: !@#!@$#@% - Fernando, we need you to learn to drive! $#@@#$"