Last Night an epic Survivor Series and tonight a Three Hour Raw. What is there to not give thanks about. Raw Comes in from Hershey Pa. and all three brands are going to be represented.
Not even a highlights package of last night?wtf? Straight into "vintage Cole".
Opens up with the announcement that cena vs punk tonight.
Ventura comes out. ok so maybe i jumped the gun Orton comes out.
"I know the normal routine is the Guest Host comes out and gets interrupted."
"It is the right thing to do, and do not listen to any of these people!"
The Governor comes out. He seems huge. Little crowd reaction.
"Im dressed like pro wrestling."
Jesse is Bats *** crazy. Jesse making the fan's claim of too much of the same men on top of the game. Series of matches with no former world champions, than the make it or break it battle royal. Heart dynasty vs DX and Cm Punk vs Cena announced
Orton looks all butt hurt. And Kofi comes out to the ring for the first match in the breakthrough battle royal qualifiers. Tension shown (looks like wwe wants to see if the fans still want to see this continue.)
Kofi's opponent Dolph Ziggler.
Lockout to begin. Kofi driven to the corner. Kofi hits his botch corner move. rolls out of a pin and almost takes out Chioda. Ziggler fighting like a spitting image of 90s Hennig. Is it irony that Jesse said too many of the same are getting the title opportunities yet Ziggler is in this tourney and he has been in about 10 matches for the Ic title recently.
Vicious elbows by Dolph. two count. chinlock with a scissor lock on Kofi's ribs. Kofi with his best super-fly impressions. 180 boom drop. Misses the trouble in paradise. Ziggler shoves him into the ropes and a rebound trouble in paradise takes Dolph out. For the Three your first advancement is Kofi Kingston.
Miz is thankful for the Miz.
Sheamus challenge is recapped.
Next Qualifying match is Sheamus against Finlay. The Celtic Destroyer vs the Belfast Brawler. lock up attempt Finlay is taking it to Shamus. Shamus takes over. Quick early pin for two on Finlay. Finlay takes back over for a brief moment before Shamus steam rolls over Finlay. sends him into the post. Crucifix to finlay for the three. Sheamus and Kofi so far in the battle royal. Post match domination of finlay.
Break comes into more thanks. this time Vickie and escobar.Oh and teddy long. Did Eric just call Vickie eye candy? teddy looks to serve a tin of potatoes but escobar takes it from him to serve instead. the fans boo hard that Vickie didn't wear the potatoes.
Orton- Jesse segment.
"My Hands are tied."
Punk vs Cena is up. Punk comes to the ring and grabs a mic.
"I'm thankful that i am Straight Edge"
"Straightedge means I'm better than you."
Punk promos are getting good.
Cena out in his Gator gear. Punk with kicks to cena's legs. Bulldog quick pin by cena. cena whipping punk to the ropes. punk claws out of the ring to avoid the stf.Triangle choke on cena as we return from commercial. Cena stands up with an electric chair drop to break the submission. Punk with strong clotheslines and a knee to cena's face. Punk is looking pretty good in their first encounter.
"The So-called Straightedge superstar"
no not super cena. Cena just got the stf out of the gts. good job Cena. Breaks the hold. Kick to the dome lays cena out. two count. Bulldog countered into a toss across the ring. Cena looks to be going to the top. Fame-asser two count. Cena doing stretches waiting for punk to get up. setup for the AA Cena shoved as punk breaks out. calf kick to cena for the two. Cena jumped off the second rope with an AA. three count and cena walks off with the V.
More Breakthrough Battle royal coverage.
Great Vince and Ventura .
ventura and Vince are going to call a match tonight "like old times"
Six man tag for the breakthrough battle royal. MVP Mark Henry and R Truth vs Masters Swagger and Chavo. funny that 3 of the men in the match are former world champions.
MvP and Swagger start up. Swagger pushes porter to the heel corner. blind tag by masters as chavo is belly to belly suplexed across the ring. Half nelson front face-lock on porter by Masters. Killings comes in mayhem ensues resulting in Killings getting the three count.
DX segment swaggle is suing them on little people court next week.(grrr).
Bourne comes out he is facing primo for the battle royal. Orton comes out and takes out Primo. Orton demands the ref start the match Orton vs Evan Bourne. "Persistency pays off" Orton quickly tries to take out bourne. Hang up on bourne with the bottom rope. (randy looks to be building stars recently.) good showing but Bourne but Orton walks away with the V and now is in the break through battle royal.
package of mcmahon and ventura : realizing that they used blue or green screen to do commentary at the ppv's pretty slick for the time it occured.
Pilgrims vs Indians coming up after a bunch of taco bell commercials.
Team Pilgrim comes out gobbeldy gooker as the guest time keeper, break.
Team Indians come out to tatanka's music. Indians win when pilgrims bail on Jillian.
Gobbledy gooker attacks Melina post match proving my its Santino theory way wrong as we see the return of Maryse.
While we are on break let me recap the breakthrough battle royal so far. It will be Kofi Orton Sheamus MVP Ron Killings And Mark Henry.
DX coming out to face the Hart Dynasty, the crowd is instantly assaulted by flying glow-sticks courtesy of HBK and Hunter.
TJ Wilson looks like Adrian young from no doubt.
Will we see another good showing in this first match ever between the teams or will Hunters nose be to heavy to prevent squashing the Hart Dynasty? HBK starts out with Kidd.quick pace to begin. hart-smith in powerhouse-ing HBK. Huge backbreaker and a two count for smith. Referee Charles Robinson looks kind of like dax Shepperd. Kidd back in some double team moves kidd gets a two count. Inverted atomic drop to wheel kick for the two by Kidd. Smith back in. (King is making fun of Jesse /mc mahon) Heads collide as micheals avoids a power slam to the corner. The Schnozz is in hitting all his spots seems his nose is too heavy after all making quick work of the dynasty. small distraction leads to DH booting trips in the head. Dynasty sets up for the hart attack and HBK's superkick helps trips nose crush the dynasty with a devastating pedigree on Kidd. Booo.
Jericho out interrupting post match celebration. Damn Audio troubles for Jericho. Weird that Triple H and Shawn don't have any audio troubles. Jericho is again a conspiracy victim or comcast just hates me.
Mysterio's music hits. Cole pretending it may be rey coming through the curtains. but its Batista. both announcers are like. Batista really coming out to the foes music. been there done that. Batista promo coming up.
"You can't wrestle" chant starts and disappears out of nowhere in the heat of the chant. What Chant going on no one cares about Batista in the raw arena.
Threatens Smackdown's participants if they win he will destroy them because the WHC is His. Kane interrupts. Kane towers over Batista.
"What exactly constitutes Disrespecting you?"
"Please Dave Make an example out of me."
Fans Boo as Batista leaves the ring staring Kane down.
Batista being talked down like he is a coward however he is looking at Kane
like he thinks Kane is a joke.
the final break through qualifying match cryme time vs Legacy. Possibly to even up the heels vs the faces in the battle royal.
JtG starting out strong agaisnt Rhodes. Blind tag to Dibiase Legacy good double teams in their corner and quick tags. front suplextoss by rhodes. dibiase back in. plenty of quick covers. Rhodes and Dibiase Isolating JTG. JTG Dives for the tag to big Shad. Cryme time a half a second away from victory. Dibiase hits shad with dream-street and its over Legacy become the final participants in the Breakthrough Battle Royal.
Jeff Hardy DVD Promo.
Battle royal up next. Backstage santino segment.
"This time of year You ladies should not be fighting you should be cooking."
santino is getting the most pie on raw.
"Aye that one was fresh from the oven."
Vickie was sneaking up on santino and gets Pied as santino spasms and knocks the cake or pie into vickies face. crowd cheers.
Ventura is coming out to commentate the battle royal of his blessings. "McMahon" will be co announcer. Ventura dressed in his best Andrew Dice Clay outfit. Vince McMahon in his old tux and red bow tie. to the old music for wrestling tv back in the day.
" Jesse this is a rotten idea"
sounds like Vince is planning on being horrible.
Orton is the last man in the ring.
"You Ought to know about broken rules you broke every rule in the entertainment business..."
Legacy is on Kofi right away. Sheamus keeping his distance. Orton is walking outside the ring. Legacy again trying to get Kofi out.
"Money buys good grammar occasionally"
Sheamus still staying his distance.
"I would but you only have three of them what should i do hire new ones?" just for the Fink i quote that. No one is eliminated yet. Sheamus just tossed Killings out. Orton plans an attack on Kofi. Out goes MvP to the floor courtesy of the Celtic warrior. Legacy eliminated by Henry who gets eliminated by Shamus. Kofi chants all over. Thought kofi was going for a pin. but punches to orton's skull. Sheamus attacks Orton and Orton gives him a back breaker. Orton to the floor by Kofi and Shamus knocks kofi to the floor earning the #1 Contender spot for John Cena's title.
the follow up for the match Jesse hosts a contract signing. Next week its mini me Hosting just in time for the little people's court wow shock.
Jesse kisses the fans butts. and institutes the contract signing between cena and Shamus.
Irony cena asking what Shamus has done to be called champion. calls Sheamus a punk "This is all that i got".
"When you sign that paper you go to War with me, and you better be ready to make a statement."
Jesse is trying to keep order. Sheamus rushes to sign the contract. John Cena signs. they do a face off. and Jesse cuts a promo on cena that he is the conspiracy in wwe. Cena gets destroyed by Shamus. "Look at Your Champion!" Power-slams cena through the table. and Jesse claims Sheamus vs Cena at TlC is a tables Match. Wtf is a chair match i just remembered HBK mentioning a chair match in the dx promo on Jericho.
Why after an ending like that does Shamus still look like a joke? Not fair.
This show over all was a huge disappointment coming out of a night that could have created so many feuds. when the highlight of your night is Orton deciding to prey on Primo and Evan Bourne to influence his involvement in the battle royal it leaves a lot to be desired. D+ is what i give this show. It was horrible. the match of the night has to be cena vs cm punk. it was well done and i was most into that match. i probably would have been more into the battle royal if i didn't have Jesse and Vince arguing about conspiracies the whole time. its like they were there to commentate but ended up in a pissing contest in a match that should be to focus on the young talent in the wwe.
the Quick List:
- Kofi def Dolph
- Sheamus def Finlay
- Cena def Punk
- MVP Mark Henry and R Truth def Swagger Chavo and Masters
- DX def Hart Dynasty
- Legacy def Cryme Tyme
- Sheamus wins a battle royal for #1 contender spot.