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Humor: Nani Completes a Cross in Practice

Steven SmithNov 20, 2009

Take note: the article below is purely satirical, and is meant solely for entertainment purposes.

The Manchester United camp is buzzing today.

Today in practice, Manchester winger Nani completed a cross in the air to his teammate's head.

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The cross took place during a five-on-five scrimmage during the United practice.

Nani has beenย criticizedย lately due to hisย inconsistencyย when it comes to crossing the ball.ย 

In an interview with The Sun, United coach Sir Alex Ferguson was ecstatic. He commentedโ€”"Everybody was excited. This is real progress for Nani."

"During the summer, we played a game where I jokingly asked Nani to hit the defender anytime he crosses. He won that game."

"I realized, once Nani told me that he hit the defender 14 times and asked if I'm proud, what's going on."

"Since then, I think Nani's been confused. The wholeย mismanagementย issue was just thatโ€”I never told him to stop playing the game."

"I think Nani hired a couple of prostitutes to celebrate. That might be overdoing it, but nonetheless this is a step forward for Nani."

"I believe he has the potential to become the next Pennant. I am trying to adapt Nani to play similarly to the former Liverpool wingerโ€”at least he won't lose the ball."

When asked about other players' progress, Ferguson continued:ย 

"Other guys? Oh, they're doing well."

"Today Berbatov ran a 20-yard sprint during the scrimmage."

"Afterwards he took a small break, but that's OK."

When asked about retirement, Ferguson continued:

"I'm trying to convince my World War II veterans to hang up their bootsโ€”I got a hook for their shoes set up and everything. However, Giggs just wants to keep playing."

"Me? I'll retire when Liverpool wins the title. So I guess I'll still be here for the next 20 years or so at least."

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