All kinds of chatter is pouring out of Lawrence, KS this week as rumors are running rampant about the fate of Kansas football coach Mark Mangino. The 2007 NCAA Coach of the Year is apparently on the hot seat as the school conducts an “internal review” which included a private meeting between the AD and the players.
According to AD Lew Perkins, “it involves a personnel matter, and as a result is confidential. It would be inappropriate for me to provide further information right now.”
While it may be inappropriate for Lew to comment, as a Mizzou fan who is contractually obligated to take full advantage of any opportunity to mock Kansas athletics, I pretty much have to comment. And as a blog, we don’t really have any responsibility to be accurate in our reporting (right, Buzz?), so today, I present 10 completely baseless potential reasons that Mark Mangino may soon be unemployed.
1.) Players parents are upset that the coach regularly eats the entire team supply of orange slices at halftime
2.) Abnormally large amount of the athletic department budget being allocated for XXXXL KU apparel
3.) Made fun of Bill Self’s toupee at alumni events one too many times
4.) He has been allocating significant time and resources to his obsessive plot to eliminate the Orange Bowl mascot for what he perceived as public mocking in 2007
5.) KU athletic department can no longer afford to transport the team via a C-17 Globemaster
6.) Is being punished for having the gall to briefly take some attention away from the basketball program over the past few years
7.) Made a smart ass remark to Mr. Perkins about how you really spell the name “Lou”.
8.) Fat jokes are fine, but when a player calls him “Coach Tons of Fun”, that player is getting his ass kicked.
9.) According to the Jason Whitlock, it’s because he’s fat. Seriously.
10.) Has not paid his tab at the Lawrence gentlemen’s club known as “The Outhouse” for five years.
Truthfully, I have no clue why Mr. Mangino’s job may be in jeopardy and considering he is the first coach in my lifetime to make Kansas even close to relevant in football, I’m not entirely sure if I should be happy or sad about it. All I know is that if he goes, Mizzou fans will have to work a lot harder on their KU jokes.