With the holiday season right around the corner, I thought it might be a good idea to give out a few WWE Christmas presents. The WWE superstars all have some little something that is missing, and this is the perfect time to fix whatever flaws they may have.
Leave it to Santa Southern here to set things straight. We will have the WWE back on it's feet in no time.
John Cena - Ah, the great John Cena. What could Cena possibly be given that the WWE does not already bestow upon him? I have the perfect gift in mind. For Mr. Cena I give a heel turn.
Not just any heel turn either. Cena should know that this means that his fans will now be out of their training bras, and likely will not sport acne, but at least the grown ups will like him again (Or at least won't mind hating him).
Triple H - I have just the gift in mind for Triple H. For the Game I give the need to lose. With his 600 World Title reigns, the power of the Game will put over some of the young talent in the WWE big time.
While I am at it, I think I will instill in him the brain of Ric Flair. That way he will understand that without high powered opponents, legendary status will not follow (What would have happened had Flair not put over Ricky Steamboat back in the day?).
Hornswoggle - For the little green man, I give a starting position as the quarterback of the Cleveland Browns. Why not? It won't make any difference.
Mickie James - For Mickie I give a great big hug. That is really for my benefit but what the hell.
The Undertaker - For the Undertaker I give a return to his American Badass gimmick. I might be the only one that misses it, but these are my presents.
Kane - For Kane I bring back the mask. I can't take that mug week after week. He does not seem mean. He just seems ugly.
Rey Mysterio Jr.- Rey gets the best gift of all. A return to the cruiserweight division. To do that I guess I have to give back the division too. I would love to see Rey and Evan Bourne go at it in a good storyline.
Batista - For Batista, I would give retirement. It is time, man.
Chris Jericho - For the great Jericho, I have two presents. One, I bring back his ponytail. The GQ look just does not scream "Jericho" at all! Two, I bring back The Rock for him to go back and forth with. Nothing in my view compared to the Rock and Jericho going toe to toe on the microphone.
The Big Show - For the Big Show I give the powers of flight off the top rope. I am sorry but that would make for incredible television. His spear is great, but seeing Big Show go Mysterio would be classic.
Matt Hardy - I give a safe return of brother Jeff. Nothing is more important than family and Matt needs Jeff around. They compliment each other and always will.
Randy Orton - For Orton I give a injury timeout. A do over of sorts. Remember when Orton was gone due to the Motorcycle wreck? He was so over with the fans that a face turn would have been classic (see imminent Edge turn coming).
I see Orton turning face this time and staying there. He has the potential to be the face of WWE if they use him correctly.
Edge - For Edge I give the perfect return in a perfect WWE. The natural feud is with Jericho, and he simply has to make a huge return to confront him. God forbid Jerishow are still champs come then, I would love to see Edge return with Christian to challenge. I know it is far fetched, but it would be sweet.
That wraps up my gifts for this year. Feel free to leave gifts of your own down below.
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