Comparing The Giants Players To Tv Show Characters

Zack DContributor INovember 18, 2009

PHOENIX - JUNE 11:  Starting pitcher Jonathan Sanchez #57 of the San Francisco Giants is greeted by Randy Johnson (R) and teammates after being removed from the major league baseball game against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field on June 11, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona.  The Diamondbacks defeated the Giants 2-1. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
Christian Petersen/Getty Images

I thought the best way for the off-season to start was for me to the Giants to some of TV's best shows and characters.

Pablo Sandoval -Turtle from Entourage -Something about Turtle doesn't look right on that show.  He made fun of Seth Rogen last season for being chubby and pulling hot chicks, but in essence that's exactly who Turtle portrays on the show.  Like Pablo, Turtle is a little chubby but at the end of the day Turtle pulled Meadow Soprano, so basically he wins at life.  It's kind of like Pablo's hitting.  It doesn't look great sometimes because anyone who has played baseball knows his approach is God awful, but hey, for him it works and it works well.

Juan Uribe - Lady Gaga - I know she isn't the star of a TV show but it's as close as I can get.  Lady Gaga, is she a dude or a chick?  Is Uribe really as good as his second half indicates where he carried the Giants as their only legitimate bat, or is he the Juan Uribe who couldn't find a job a year ago and had to sign a minor league contract?

Tim Lincecum - Hannah Montana - You probably think that is just flat out disrespectful to put Timmy and Hannah Montana in the same sentence, but while Miley is generally annoying, and pushes the limit of what a 16-rear-old should and should not do, she has experienced great success at a young age.  Bottom line, the chick is going to be a billionaire, and within the next year or two Timmy too is going get a BIG DEAL.

Rich Aurilia - Charlie Harper - Like Charlie, Richie is the man.  Going to miss seeing him in a Giants uni.

Matt Cain - E from Entourage.  E is the other successful guy on the show.  He has to compete with Vinny Chase, and Cain has to compete with one of the best in the business in Timmy.  E, though,quietly has done well for himself.  He has Sloan, and Sloan is a dime, and he also has a good job and pulls in some decent money.  Cain just flat out deals and has been since he came in the league.  Like Entourage with Vinny and E are on the same show, it's just generally great to watch Timmy and Cain are on the same team.

Randy Johnson -Chevy Chase in Community -These two are so similar, its not even right.  Randy is a living legend hanging around for one more go around like Chevy. Randy gave us 300 wins, a perfect game, and Chevy gave us Caddyshack, SNL, fair enough right?

Bruce Bochy - Creed from the Office - Old, and generally has no clue what's going on.  Bochy often takes guys out too late or not early enough, plays his overpaid veterans when he should go with the younger players, and juggles the lineup too much. Creed, like Bochy, finds himself on that show still with a job even though all signs indicate he shouldn't.

Jonathan Sanchez - The entire cast of Parks and Rec. - I don't know what to make of that show.  Some episodes it's hilarious, other times I cant wait to change the channel.  Ariz Ansari is always great but the rest of the cast is basically hit or miss, just like Sanchez.  Some episodes it's great, other times it's a poor man's office.

Edger Renteria - Phoebe from Friends. Why is he here?  No seriously.

Nate Schierholtz - The entire cast of The League - Great show based on fantasy football and if you haven't seen it, watch it.  I don't care if its on-line or on demand, the show is legit.  Nate compares to that show because how can you not like him, he might be the only Giant who actually produces good at-bats, he has a cannon, and plays the game hard. To take a line from Krukow "Dudes a gamer".  Like the show, you like what you see, but way too small of a sampling to see if it'll stay around.

The Bullpen - Cast of The Office - Some parts probably could be interchangeable, and often The Office is so awkward that it is uncomfortable even for you sitting at home. The bullpen is the same way, but at the end of the day The Office is a good show and the bullpen was solid this year.  The difference between this year and last was the bullpen.  It allowed the Giants to hang around the playoff picture a lot longer than this team should have.

Buster Posey - Closest I could get was the kid from Two and A Half Men.  Buster is expected to do big things, and the kid in the show always delivers funny lines on that show, and never disappoints.  Buster will need to develop but the expectation is high.

Eli Whiteside - Tool Academy - Why is that show not cancelled yet?  Except for one no-hitter, why was Eli catching meaningful games in August?

Ryan Garko - Friday Night Lights - Generally good show.  Like Garko who was a good hitter in Cleveland, looked like a move to the National League would be great for him.  Turns out it wasn't.  Friday Night Lights moves to some channel no one has and before we know it, it too will be gone.

Freddy Sanchez - The Dad married to the hottie from Happy Gilmore in Modern Family - Easily the best new show of the fall along with The League on FX.  The dad is hilarious but not funny enough to be the main character, just like Freddy who's solid but shouldn't be hitting three next year.

Barry Zito and Aaron Rowand - The CSI's and NCIS's - They are on like every night right?  All I do is see commercials about their newest episodes and David Caruso, or some other actor who was cool in 92, saying some corny joke.  Zito's and Rowand's contracts seem to be something like these shows the Giants can't escape.  They are always going to have to play because of the money owed to them, and these shows will never go away because every month there is a new spin-off.

Angel Villalona - Cops, Arrested Development, Prison Break - Am I missing anything?