Bears, Browns and Bills: Big Blunders Made By Great Lake Wrecks

Dave HoganContributor IINovember 17, 2009

CHICAGO - NOVEMBER 01: Joshua Cribbs #16 of the Cleveland Browns is upended by Craig Steltz #20 of the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field on November 1, 2009 in Chicago, Illinois. The Bears defeated the Browns 30-6. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Sung to the tune of The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

The Legends are all gone—Dick Butkus, Walter Payton, and Jim Kelly down to Jim Brown.

On Lake Michigan it seems, they soldier on with disregard for the frowns of the crowd and the spaceship around.

Does anyone know why Lovie goes for it on 4th down with a Long Snapper Pipe dreamin?

On offense the passes come late while the receivers fall down and crash into old referees.  You got rid of Rex but your team's still a wreck.

The defense is out to lunch but still throws a punch in front of the ref, the first hard hit in what's left of the Bear's season!

Farther East we become leery on both sides of Erie, the mistakes by the Lakes continue...

The Browns play downtown and turn the minutes into hours.

They sour the dog pound but at least LeBron's still around.

Their two yard pass routes are nothing to tout, everything is wrong & they practice too long.

It's way out of bounds with Brady Quinn in, throwing cheaps shots again, they have no chance to win just like his failed pale Sarah Palin.

Eric Mangini works as a parking attendant and looks very cute but he's soon to be a defendant in a wrongful hire lawsuit.

Well below "Five Hundred" is old Buffalo, where the fan's freeze on aluminum seats.

We see TO's cleats and he looks real neat.  With sunglasses on press conferences go on with all the morons as we wait for the impending meltdown.  The tears for Romo are all gone, part of Niagara Falls now as we go farther below five hundred!

They've fired Coach Jauron due to that thorn TO or was it because Jim Zorn tied him in the win column?

Don't forgot Detroit.  Its depresssing enough in the Rust Belt so wouldn't it be swell if one of these teams won? When Green Bay runs out of it luck, it too will suck.

The Seattle Mariners even say these teams can't beat Tampa Bay.

They have no split ends, is it a geographic trend? When will it end?, they don't know what it takes to win when the critics of November come screamin!